For awhile now I've been trying to write a post about the loss of my mom and how it's impacted me as a mother. I just can't seem to get myself together enough to write it out. I've tried and tried but every time I start getting a decent post going, I end up in tears and have to stop. This one will probably be a little bitter sweet for me as well because it was my first Mother's Day as a mom and my first Mother's Day without my mom.
I so badly wanted my first Mother's Day to be a special day. I wanted to
have pictures of my son with my mom and grandmother. I wanted to have
special cards from my son and husband that I would keep in a box forever
and look back on with fond memories. Instead, I just wanted the day to
be over the worst way.
Mother's Day is one of those holidays that I seldom ever think about, except for the week and a half before when I'm scrambling around to get all the ladies in my life a gift and a card before the big day hits. This year, I thought about it all month long. I was dreading it.
I did things quite different this year. I refused to put myself in any situation that was going to make this day harder for me than it already was. This is how things went down this year versus last year...
Cards
Last year - I spent hours picking out cards, trying to find the perfect one for each woman in my life, as well as the multiple women in my husband's life.
This year - Attempted picking out cards, but started bawling after reading two cards because I miss my mom so much. I'm sure I looked like a basket case standing in the card aisle at Target crying hysterically.
Flowers
Last year - I was busy planting flowers and hunting down flowers for various ladies. I was cleaning top soil and flower petals out of my car for weeks afterwards.
This year - I received a bouquet of flowers from my husband, and that was it.
Gifts
Last year - I scrambled around ordering things online to make sure they got to my mom and grandma in time. I spent hours shopping for husband's family and trying to find the most economical way to provide a pointless gift for the 47 women in his life.
This year - I didn't buy a damn thing. That was all on my husband.
The Day Of
Last year - Multiple phone calls to my mom, grandma. Then I spent the rest of the day hunting down my husband and making him call all of his family as well.
This year - I tried my best to just make sure it was like any other day. I called my grandmother, sure, but overall I just wanted to pretend it was a normal Sunday.
The stress of prepping for Mother's Day with gifts and what not was a lot easier this year because I just simply refused. I couldn't mentally handle buying gifts for someone else's mother while my own had just died. I'm just so glad that day is over. Hopefully next year won't be nearly as bitter for me and I'll actually be able to look back on the day and smile, not want to cry.
Monday, May 13, 2013
Thursday, May 9, 2013
What a Difference 10 Miles Makes...
We didn't live in a 'bad' part of town before, it just wasn't the most desirable area to live. Things were a little trashy, people were a little sketchy, but overall it was okay. I wouldn't go walking around alone at night, but I wasn't (usually) afraid to go out and get the newspaper.
We've now moved into a nice little suburb. It's like living on a different planet. Some of the differences just amuse, some of them leave me wondering; why didn't we move sooner?
The Children
Old Neighborhood: Various kids from numerous families, running around unsupervised all hours of the day and night. I'm all for kids playing outside, but your kids either need to be supervised or tethered in the yard because I've seen them all almost get run over at least twice by an unsuspecting motorist.
New Neighborhood: A few kids out after dinner during the week. The creepy thing is that their parents are outside too. This is a foreign concept to me: parents...outside...watching their kids?
Language
Old Neighborhood: Not going to say the language was anything other than English, for those who thought I was going there...no, just a lot of cursing, fighting, talking about things that shouldn't be spoken about outside of the house. I don't need to know that your crack pipe isn't working, maybe you should be a little quieter on the phone or find a more private place to discuss these issues.
New Neighborhood: People talk about the weather, trees, shrubs. I've yet to hear an "f" bomb drop from any of my neighbors, which is good since most of them are over 50; which also might be why they don't talk about their drug habits either.
Pets
Old Neighborhood: Running around, no leash, no tags, no one seemed to care if they got ran over, taken to the pound or killed another dog. Oddly enough, I do think some of the pets were better supervised than the children.
New Neighborhood: Leashed, cared for...and no sign of rabies amongst any of them. What a difference that makes when I'm walking to the mailbox.
Yards
Old Neighborhood: I could tell you what brand of liquor most of my old neighbors drank...how? Because there would typically be at least 5-10 various alcohol containers strewn about the yard. Maybe it was just "progressive" yard art and I'm failing to see the artistic side of things.
New Neighborhood: There's actual yard art. People cut their grass on a weekly basis. No alcohol containers that I've seen yet.
Trash Day
Old Neighborhood: Typically my neighbors would take their trash out once a month. Which meant the other 3 weeks out of the month trash was just piled up on the side of the garage. Very classy, not to mention smelly. A 3 week old pile of diapers outside in August smells exactly what you would think it smells like.
New Neighborhood: People's garbage is neat and organized, placed in an orderly fashion on the curb 12 hours before pick up. If there's an overflow issue, the extra bag is nicely placed alongside the trash bin.
Cars
Old Neighborhood: You know that sound when you're not sure if it's gun fire or a car back firing? You know the sound of an angry bumble bee that's actually just some kid's muffler on his car? Those were typical noises when a car when coming the down the road.
New Neighborhood: I've yet to hear a single angry bumble bee muffler and no gunshots or back firing noises either. On the other side of things, I think we might be one of 10 families in the neighborhood not driving a foreign luxury car. So I guess we're the trashy ones now.
Come to think of it...maybe our old neighborhood was pretty damn crappy. I think we moved into suburbia right at the right time. Our son will most likely not be learning curse words from the neighbors or finding empty liquor bottles in our yard. Sure, he won't be as "cultured" but that's fine in my book.
We've now moved into a nice little suburb. It's like living on a different planet. Some of the differences just amuse, some of them leave me wondering; why didn't we move sooner?
The Children
Old Neighborhood: Various kids from numerous families, running around unsupervised all hours of the day and night. I'm all for kids playing outside, but your kids either need to be supervised or tethered in the yard because I've seen them all almost get run over at least twice by an unsuspecting motorist.
New Neighborhood: A few kids out after dinner during the week. The creepy thing is that their parents are outside too. This is a foreign concept to me: parents...outside...watching their kids?
Language
Old Neighborhood: Not going to say the language was anything other than English, for those who thought I was going there...no, just a lot of cursing, fighting, talking about things that shouldn't be spoken about outside of the house. I don't need to know that your crack pipe isn't working, maybe you should be a little quieter on the phone or find a more private place to discuss these issues.
New Neighborhood: People talk about the weather, trees, shrubs. I've yet to hear an "f" bomb drop from any of my neighbors, which is good since most of them are over 50; which also might be why they don't talk about their drug habits either.
Pets
Old Neighborhood: Running around, no leash, no tags, no one seemed to care if they got ran over, taken to the pound or killed another dog. Oddly enough, I do think some of the pets were better supervised than the children.
New Neighborhood: Leashed, cared for...and no sign of rabies amongst any of them. What a difference that makes when I'm walking to the mailbox.
Yards
Old Neighborhood: I could tell you what brand of liquor most of my old neighbors drank...how? Because there would typically be at least 5-10 various alcohol containers strewn about the yard. Maybe it was just "progressive" yard art and I'm failing to see the artistic side of things.
New Neighborhood: There's actual yard art. People cut their grass on a weekly basis. No alcohol containers that I've seen yet.
Trash Day
Old Neighborhood: Typically my neighbors would take their trash out once a month. Which meant the other 3 weeks out of the month trash was just piled up on the side of the garage. Very classy, not to mention smelly. A 3 week old pile of diapers outside in August smells exactly what you would think it smells like.
New Neighborhood: People's garbage is neat and organized, placed in an orderly fashion on the curb 12 hours before pick up. If there's an overflow issue, the extra bag is nicely placed alongside the trash bin.
Cars
Old Neighborhood: You know that sound when you're not sure if it's gun fire or a car back firing? You know the sound of an angry bumble bee that's actually just some kid's muffler on his car? Those were typical noises when a car when coming the down the road.
New Neighborhood: I've yet to hear a single angry bumble bee muffler and no gunshots or back firing noises either. On the other side of things, I think we might be one of 10 families in the neighborhood not driving a foreign luxury car. So I guess we're the trashy ones now.
Come to think of it...maybe our old neighborhood was pretty damn crappy. I think we moved into suburbia right at the right time. Our son will most likely not be learning curse words from the neighbors or finding empty liquor bottles in our yard. Sure, he won't be as "cultured" but that's fine in my book.
Friday, May 3, 2013
Every Baby is Different
“Every baby is just different,” I feel like I find myself saying that to people a lot since I’ve had our son. Everyone and their brother (literally) wants to tell me about what their child did and when they did it. It’s like I need to start whipping out a yardstick to compare our kids all the time. It gets a little frustrating.
My son slept through the night at six weeks, you should really get your son checked out!
First off, I don’t believe you at all. Second, there’s nothing wrong with my child, he’s just hungry AND stubborn.
My son start walking at 6 months old…your boy isn’t even crawling yet?
Nope, and I’m quite pleased with that. If he’s fourteen years old and still rolling around on the floor to get to things, I’ll let you know and get your doctor’s name then.
We started our boy on finger foods at 6 months…your boy is still eating purees?
Yes, and he hasn’t choked on purees yet. I don’t feel he’s ready for finger foods yet and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let my kid choke on a green bean because someone tried making me feel like a bad mother for not giving him finger foods.
Our kids never slept in our rooms…and you let him sleep in your bed? (Horrified face).
Yes, he sleeps in our room. And yes, on occasion, he sleeps in our bed. I don’t feel like this requires a visit from Child Protective Services, so please, let’s not make a big deal out of this.
He’s not babbling yet? Our kids were always babbling by 6 months old.
Nope, he has his occasional “ba ba ba” but it’s not a regular thing. Part of me feels like I should be worried but the other part of me says that all kids are different, I don’t need to worry.
Sometimes I think it's funny when people try to play this "my kid is better than yours" game. Most of the time I just find it ridiculously annoying. Babies are babies. There's not a whole lot that you can do to really force them into doing things they're not ready for. Unfortunately their logic and reasoning skills aren't that well developed...well maybe your kids' reasoning skills are well developed; my boy just isn't there yet.
My son slept through the night at six weeks, you should really get your son checked out!
First off, I don’t believe you at all. Second, there’s nothing wrong with my child, he’s just hungry AND stubborn.
My son start walking at 6 months old…your boy isn’t even crawling yet?
Nope, and I’m quite pleased with that. If he’s fourteen years old and still rolling around on the floor to get to things, I’ll let you know and get your doctor’s name then.
We started our boy on finger foods at 6 months…your boy is still eating purees?
Yes, and he hasn’t choked on purees yet. I don’t feel he’s ready for finger foods yet and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let my kid choke on a green bean because someone tried making me feel like a bad mother for not giving him finger foods.
Our kids never slept in our rooms…and you let him sleep in your bed? (Horrified face).
Yes, he sleeps in our room. And yes, on occasion, he sleeps in our bed. I don’t feel like this requires a visit from Child Protective Services, so please, let’s not make a big deal out of this.
He’s not babbling yet? Our kids were always babbling by 6 months old.
Nope, he has his occasional “ba ba ba” but it’s not a regular thing. Part of me feels like I should be worried but the other part of me says that all kids are different, I don’t need to worry.
Sometimes I think it's funny when people try to play this "my kid is better than yours" game. Most of the time I just find it ridiculously annoying. Babies are babies. There's not a whole lot that you can do to really force them into doing things they're not ready for. Unfortunately their logic and reasoning skills aren't that well developed...well maybe your kids' reasoning skills are well developed; my boy just isn't there yet.
Monday, April 29, 2013
Things We Lost In The Move
We finally did it! We are officially homeowners and living in our new home. We handed the keys over for our rental to the landlord earlier this week and we're just living the "white bread" lifestyle as my husband calls it.
In the midst of moving we lost some things that I wish we hadn't. I know they're SOMEWHERE in the new house, but where exactly is just beyond me. Some of them are a bit ridiculous, some of them would just be REALLY, really nice to find sooner rather than later, like yesterday would have been nice.
My Underwear - Yep, I can't find them. I have about five pairs that I can currently locate, including the one on my ass as I type this. Unfortunately I'm stubborn and cheap, so I refuse to go buy more because I KNOW they're somewhere in the house. On the plus side of this, I've just been forced into doing laundry on a more regular basis.
My Socks - Again, I know they're here. In the meantime I've just been wearing my husband's socks. Even when I do find mine, I still plan on wearing his because I've come to find that manly socks are just a lot more spacey and comfy for my feet. He doesn't know this and would probably object, but what doesn't know what hurt him.
Diapers - Somewhere in this house there are at least two boxes of unopened, unused diapers. I would LOVE to know where they ended up. For obvious reasons, I had to go out and buy another box. Now I'm sitting here biting my nails and hoping that we can find them before my son outgrows them and needs the next size up. If all else fails, I hope I can at least find them before baby number two is wearing that size.
Dog Treats - This has worked out to her benefit. My dog usually gets a treat after going outside and going potty. Since we can't find her treats and I refuse to buy more since we have a ton of them, I've been improvising. She's been getting random things like: carrots, cereal, cereal puffs from the baby, apple chunks, pretty much whatever is on hand at the moment. I think she'll be sad when we actually do find her treats.
Utensils - Thankfully we've found these since we moved in. It was pretty pathetic for a few days. At one point my husband wanted cereal, I was able to offer him a ladle or a plastic fork...he was none to pleased with those options.
Husband's Dress Shoes - He had taken a few days off of work anyways, so it wasn't a huge deal. Part of me would have loved to see him all dressed up with his hair done, a button down shirt, pressed pants, shiny belt...and a pair of sneakers. Maybe one day I'll hide his nice shoes just so I can see that visual.
Adult Soaps and Shampoos - For whatever reason, mine and my husband's soap and shampoos were misplaced when we first moved in, but our son's bath time supplies were easily found. So, I'm not ashamed to say that for a few showers we both used some baby bath soap and shampoo for ourselves. I honestly didn't mind smelling like a baby's butt for a few days there.
In addition to the things we can't find I've found a ton of crap that I didn't even know we had. That will make for whole other post though. Seriously, who knew how much crap you could hide in attic storage? I found out...I've been sorting through the "treasures" bit by bit each day and I keep asking myself, "Why do we have this? Why did this survive long enough to move with us?"
But, anyways, we've made it through the move. Hopefully all of our lost items will surface soon.
In the midst of moving we lost some things that I wish we hadn't. I know they're SOMEWHERE in the new house, but where exactly is just beyond me. Some of them are a bit ridiculous, some of them would just be REALLY, really nice to find sooner rather than later, like yesterday would have been nice.
My Underwear - Yep, I can't find them. I have about five pairs that I can currently locate, including the one on my ass as I type this. Unfortunately I'm stubborn and cheap, so I refuse to go buy more because I KNOW they're somewhere in the house. On the plus side of this, I've just been forced into doing laundry on a more regular basis.
My Socks - Again, I know they're here. In the meantime I've just been wearing my husband's socks. Even when I do find mine, I still plan on wearing his because I've come to find that manly socks are just a lot more spacey and comfy for my feet. He doesn't know this and would probably object, but what doesn't know what hurt him.
Diapers - Somewhere in this house there are at least two boxes of unopened, unused diapers. I would LOVE to know where they ended up. For obvious reasons, I had to go out and buy another box. Now I'm sitting here biting my nails and hoping that we can find them before my son outgrows them and needs the next size up. If all else fails, I hope I can at least find them before baby number two is wearing that size.
Dog Treats - This has worked out to her benefit. My dog usually gets a treat after going outside and going potty. Since we can't find her treats and I refuse to buy more since we have a ton of them, I've been improvising. She's been getting random things like: carrots, cereal, cereal puffs from the baby, apple chunks, pretty much whatever is on hand at the moment. I think she'll be sad when we actually do find her treats.
Utensils - Thankfully we've found these since we moved in. It was pretty pathetic for a few days. At one point my husband wanted cereal, I was able to offer him a ladle or a plastic fork...he was none to pleased with those options.
Husband's Dress Shoes - He had taken a few days off of work anyways, so it wasn't a huge deal. Part of me would have loved to see him all dressed up with his hair done, a button down shirt, pressed pants, shiny belt...and a pair of sneakers. Maybe one day I'll hide his nice shoes just so I can see that visual.
Adult Soaps and Shampoos - For whatever reason, mine and my husband's soap and shampoos were misplaced when we first moved in, but our son's bath time supplies were easily found. So, I'm not ashamed to say that for a few showers we both used some baby bath soap and shampoo for ourselves. I honestly didn't mind smelling like a baby's butt for a few days there.
In addition to the things we can't find I've found a ton of crap that I didn't even know we had. That will make for whole other post though. Seriously, who knew how much crap you could hide in attic storage? I found out...I've been sorting through the "treasures" bit by bit each day and I keep asking myself, "Why do we have this? Why did this survive long enough to move with us?"
But, anyways, we've made it through the move. Hopefully all of our lost items will surface soon.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
(Selfish) Reaons to Love Your New Mom Status
Being a new mom is hard. Let’s just put that out there. There’s nothing easy or pretty about it. It’s a huge life change that no one could ever have prepared you for. There’s so many changes going on and you are dead tired. However, looking back at those first few months, I can honestly say that there were some great built in excuses that came with having a new baby.
1. You’re tired, so you can’t go out. You know that annoying friend/relative that ALWAYS wants to go out somewhere? Now you have a great excuse: Baby didn’t sleep, I’m exhausted, maybe next week.
2. Babies have weak immune systems…and hasn’t your little one been a little “feverish” lately? Better not have any company over, you wouldn’t want to expose him to something and make things worse.
3. At a family function with people you hate? Someone wants to corner you and talk your ear off for two hours about the ramifications of global warming on the goats in Africa? Shucks! Can’t right now, baby needs to be changed/fed/put to sleep.
4. Next time your baby is crying at the grocery store and you only have three things in your cart and all the lanes are full of people checking out, just go stand really close next to someone. Let the baby cry for a moment or two. I’ve found that this gets me to the front of the line pretty quickly.
5. If your baby is being an ass all day long, you get out of cleaning and cooking. Simply call your husband while baby is having a meltdown. If he’s smart he’ll figure out that this is the clue for him to go pick up dinner.
6. When you’re tired, exhausted, cranky and just “done,” your baby will do something new and funny. Not to be mushy, but those are the moments that make it all worth it. He’s been screaming all day and then suddenly you see him roll over for the first time, all that frustration goes out the window as your heart just melts over this new milestone.
I love being a mom. There hasn’t been anything yet to make me feel differently. If it was up to me, we’d have twelve kids already because I feel like this is what I was meant to do. That being said, there are still days that I go without showering or lunch. It’s all part of the mom job.
1. You’re tired, so you can’t go out. You know that annoying friend/relative that ALWAYS wants to go out somewhere? Now you have a great excuse: Baby didn’t sleep, I’m exhausted, maybe next week.
2. Babies have weak immune systems…and hasn’t your little one been a little “feverish” lately? Better not have any company over, you wouldn’t want to expose him to something and make things worse.
3. At a family function with people you hate? Someone wants to corner you and talk your ear off for two hours about the ramifications of global warming on the goats in Africa? Shucks! Can’t right now, baby needs to be changed/fed/put to sleep.
4. Next time your baby is crying at the grocery store and you only have three things in your cart and all the lanes are full of people checking out, just go stand really close next to someone. Let the baby cry for a moment or two. I’ve found that this gets me to the front of the line pretty quickly.
5. If your baby is being an ass all day long, you get out of cleaning and cooking. Simply call your husband while baby is having a meltdown. If he’s smart he’ll figure out that this is the clue for him to go pick up dinner.
6. When you’re tired, exhausted, cranky and just “done,” your baby will do something new and funny. Not to be mushy, but those are the moments that make it all worth it. He’s been screaming all day and then suddenly you see him roll over for the first time, all that frustration goes out the window as your heart just melts over this new milestone.
I love being a mom. There hasn’t been anything yet to make me feel differently. If it was up to me, we’d have twelve kids already because I feel like this is what I was meant to do. That being said, there are still days that I go without showering or lunch. It’s all part of the mom job.
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Moving
As I’ve mentioned before, moving is awful as it is, throw an infant into the mix and things get even more complicated. Here’s just a quick list of a few ways my son has decided to do to make things more interesting for us during our moving process.
- Teething. This makes him crabby, but thankfully there’s actually teeth showing through so I know I’m not lying this time.
- Crawling attempts. He gets up, he rocks back and forth and then face plants into the ground. Thus, we end up with a super pissy baby because he a.) can’t crawl and b.) quite possibly injured himself.
- Changing his food habits. This may be related to the teeth. Before he was eating either solids or breastmilk every 2-3 hours. Now we’ve decided that he wants to eat every hour to two hours.
- Pooping more. That says it all. Thanks buddy!
- Changing nap habits. Before he would only sleep in his crib. Now the crib is a 50/50 shot. Always making mommy guess! That’s my boy!
- Loving the loudest and most obnoxious toys. Before he wasn’t too interested in the Busy Ball Popper. Now it’s the best, best thing in the world. For those of you that have not experienced this toy; it’s LOUD. And it has NO volume control. Thanks Fisher Price!
I’m sure more changes are in the future. These are just a few things that have been keeping me on my toes lately.
- Teething. This makes him crabby, but thankfully there’s actually teeth showing through so I know I’m not lying this time.
- Crawling attempts. He gets up, he rocks back and forth and then face plants into the ground. Thus, we end up with a super pissy baby because he a.) can’t crawl and b.) quite possibly injured himself.
- Changing his food habits. This may be related to the teeth. Before he was eating either solids or breastmilk every 2-3 hours. Now we’ve decided that he wants to eat every hour to two hours.
- Pooping more. That says it all. Thanks buddy!
- Changing nap habits. Before he would only sleep in his crib. Now the crib is a 50/50 shot. Always making mommy guess! That’s my boy!
- Loving the loudest and most obnoxious toys. Before he wasn’t too interested in the Busy Ball Popper. Now it’s the best, best thing in the world. For those of you that have not experienced this toy; it’s LOUD. And it has NO volume control. Thanks Fisher Price!
I’m sure more changes are in the future. These are just a few things that have been keeping me on my toes lately.
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
New Friends of a New Mom
I have a ton of great people in my life. I have my amazing husband, who has the patience of a saint. I have my grandmother, who even though she’s thousands of miles away, can always manage to say the right thing when I need it. I have my wonderful mother in law, who is always there for our little family. I have a wonderful aunt-in-law that offers me a great help and used baby things. I have a sister-in-law that is nothing but thrilled to send me her used baby items that are in great shape. I can’t say thank you enough to these people who have had such a huge impact on my mine and my son’s life.
This post is not about them. This post is about the people that are anything but helpful. The ones who think they’re helping but instead they’re just causing more and more stress that I don’t want or need. These are some of the people you’ll meet as a new mom. You might have known these people all along, but you’ll see them in a different light as they now fit into one or all of these categories.
The Empty Offer-er: These people are the ones who offer to help you out when you need it and then are nowhere to be found when you actually need them. I’ve had a lot of those since my son was born. If you don’t want to help, don’t even offer. I don’t see what anyone gains from making these offers and then when we take you up on it you’re too busy or it’s just too hard for you to do.
The Snobby Mom: These are the moms that will forever be looking down their nose at you. No matter how proud you are of something you’ve done, they will either one up you or tell you why what you did was stupid and pointless. Please pull the stick from your ass before we talk next time, thanks.
The Inexperienced Helper: These are the ones that have never watched a baby for more than 2 hours but are somehow self proclaimed experts. They will be over the top with offering you advice and helpful suggestions. Little do they know that baby sitting a baby and actually raising one are two very different things.
The Competitor: These are the ones that will forever be trying to make you look bad by doing something even better than you did. They’re often grouped in with the snobby moms. Nothing you do will ever been as good what they did. Their kids are perfect, you couldn’t possibly relate to them.
The Show Off: They will make everything look so fucking easy that it hurts your heart. They make it sound like motherhood is just a walk in the park on a spring day. They act like they’ve never spent a night up with a screaming baby or cleaned puke out of their bras. Don’t let them fool you, they’ll break one day.
The Bitch: The title says it all. Some people just become bitches to you when you have a baby.
The Over-Gifter: This person will buy you and your kid all sorts of crap you don't need, but they see as vital. They won't buy you just one pair of snow boots (in August) for your child, they'll get you three pairs in case one gets dirty.
My best advice is just to simply weed out the people you don't need. I've had a hard time lately because my actual family has become so small. Then I stop and look around at the people that I do have and realize that quality is more important than quantity. Thankfully these people listed above are ones that I mainly only have to see for holidays or birthdays. Let's keep it that way.
This post is not about them. This post is about the people that are anything but helpful. The ones who think they’re helping but instead they’re just causing more and more stress that I don’t want or need. These are some of the people you’ll meet as a new mom. You might have known these people all along, but you’ll see them in a different light as they now fit into one or all of these categories.
The Empty Offer-er: These people are the ones who offer to help you out when you need it and then are nowhere to be found when you actually need them. I’ve had a lot of those since my son was born. If you don’t want to help, don’t even offer. I don’t see what anyone gains from making these offers and then when we take you up on it you’re too busy or it’s just too hard for you to do.
The Snobby Mom: These are the moms that will forever be looking down their nose at you. No matter how proud you are of something you’ve done, they will either one up you or tell you why what you did was stupid and pointless. Please pull the stick from your ass before we talk next time, thanks.
The Inexperienced Helper: These are the ones that have never watched a baby for more than 2 hours but are somehow self proclaimed experts. They will be over the top with offering you advice and helpful suggestions. Little do they know that baby sitting a baby and actually raising one are two very different things.
The Competitor: These are the ones that will forever be trying to make you look bad by doing something even better than you did. They’re often grouped in with the snobby moms. Nothing you do will ever been as good what they did. Their kids are perfect, you couldn’t possibly relate to them.
The Show Off: They will make everything look so fucking easy that it hurts your heart. They make it sound like motherhood is just a walk in the park on a spring day. They act like they’ve never spent a night up with a screaming baby or cleaned puke out of their bras. Don’t let them fool you, they’ll break one day.
The Bitch: The title says it all. Some people just become bitches to you when you have a baby.
The Over-Gifter: This person will buy you and your kid all sorts of crap you don't need, but they see as vital. They won't buy you just one pair of snow boots (in August) for your child, they'll get you three pairs in case one gets dirty.
My best advice is just to simply weed out the people you don't need. I've had a hard time lately because my actual family has become so small. Then I stop and look around at the people that I do have and realize that quality is more important than quantity. Thankfully these people listed above are ones that I mainly only have to see for holidays or birthdays. Let's keep it that way.
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