Every time I take my son to the grocery store I expect random people to come up to me and give me helpful and unwanted advice. This only seems to happen when I’m alone with him. Very rarely does anyone approach me and my husband when we’re together with the baby. So part of me feels like my husband must think I’m making this shit up because he’s never gotten the joy of random advice from a stranger.
As if I don’t have enough reasons to hate going to the grocery store, these random women who want to “help” just make it that much less enjoyable.
These are a few of the lovely tidbits I’ve gotten from random middle aged women in the past few months:
*He’s too old for that pacifier.
And you look a little too old to be wearing Victoria’s Secret “Pink” pants, but no one has pointed that to you obviously. Leave my 7-month-old and his pacifier alone.
*He’s too big for that car seat!
Actually, he’s not. He’s not even 25 pounds, and our car seat has a 30-pound limit. As much as I appreciate the concern, I don’t get where people think it’s okay to tell me that shit. Do you really think I don't know the limits of his car seat??
*You really should have a hat on that baby.
Thanks! I’ll let you know when we’re leaving the house next time and you can pick out an appropriate outfit my baby!
*He’s going to fall out of that carrier. (Wearing an Ergo Baby carrier)
I know he's advanced for his age in some areas but unless he suddenly gains some awesome fine motor skills and learns how to unhook buckles, he’s fine.
*Isn’t he a little young to be having a sippy cup?
Go talk to the lady that thinks he’s too big for his car seat. When you two come to a decision on what’s appropriate for my kid, please get back to me.
*You’re going to need help getting out to the car.
No, really, I’m not. I’m not injured in some way that prevents me from putting the car seat into the car and putting the bags in. Would help be nice sometimes? Sure, but I’m not in NEED of help. If you'd like to help me with something, come to my house and help me put the groceries away before my milk spoils...that's an area I actually need help with.
*You really shouldn’t let him sleep in the car seat.
Okay! I’ll just keep poking him and waking him up so he can scream really loud. That way we can all enjoy our shopping experience a little more.
I hate that shit so much. I get that people just want to help but really, we’re in a grocery store. I’m not standing outside of Babies R Us begging people to please explain to me how his car seat works. I'd like to think I don't look THAT clueless when I'm out with my son. Surely I look a little worn out but I don't think I' give off a "stupid and confused" vibe just yet. I’ve never once offered advice to another mom in a random public place. I only wish people would exchange the favor. Maybe I need to start offering fashion/make-up advice to random people in exchange for their child care advice.
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