Crunchy

I recently heard the term “crunchy” when referring to mothers or parenting styles. I honestly had no idea what this meant and decided to look it up. I found out that it means natural, hippie, granola…things of that sort. I hadn’t really given much thought to it, I definitely hadn't thought about it applying to me as a mother. I had visions in my head of this applying to those moms who won’t drive a car because it’s bad for the environment, or the moms who make their own clothes and wear flowers in their hair…so not me at all.

And then I slapped with reality…as I have been so many times in the past 5 months since having my son. I was at Target, wearing my 5 month old son in his baby carrier and someone engaged me in conversation. Wearing him something I do on a regular basis when out in public because I can’t figure out any other way to do anything in public without wearing him. The lady approached me with a warm, oh so condescending, smile. When she asked about the carrier I told her that I just found it easier to wear him than try to carry him in the car seat around the store. The lady smiled, nodded her head, said, "How crunchy of you," rolled her eyes and walked away from me.

I was rather shocked. I never really thought of the things I did for my baby as being "crunchy". Then I did some more research into it...it turns out I am rather crunchy. Not, clothes making crunchy, but crunchy nonetheless. However, I think many, many people are failing to see the upsides (and superficial sides) of being crunchy. So here's an honest to god truth about two of these so called "crunchy" behaviors.

Babywearing
For those of you not familiar with this concept, this is when a mom or dad will wear their baby in a specially made carrier or sling. Some of them are backpack types, some of them are pieces of fabric that are wrapped a special way, others are simple slings that can be adjusted according to baby's needs.

We used to use one that was a long piece of fabric and I would wrap myself and my son in. I really loved it, my son really loved it. And then he got heavy, a little too heavy for that kind of wrap. He began stretching the fabric a little too much for my comfort. So, thanks to my mother, I upgraded to a very fancy, expensive carrier.

There are a ridiculous amount of benefits to babywearing…everything from increasing child’s bond with mother, to better sleeping habits and a more relaxed overall child. However, I want to share some more ‘real life’ benefits with you…

My hands are free
    You would think that this would be a given to anyone who sees me wearing my son, but you’d be shocked how many people are amazed when I point that out to them. Do you not see that I’m able to grab objects with both hands? My child is securely fastened against my body, content, not screaming and yet I’m still able to function like a normal person? Do you really not see that benefit?

My one arm doesn’t hurt constantly
    I’m not forced into lugging him around on my left hip. Since I’m right-handed, he always ends up on my left hip. This makes my back hurt, my arm hurt and overall I get pretty bitchy about this after about 10-15 minutes of holding him like that. Oh, and did I mention that after 10 minutes of being carried like that he tends to start arching his back and flailing his arms around like he’s just been poked with a cattle prod? Yeah, he doesn’t like the one arm, one hip approach too much either.

I. Can. Leave. The. Damn. Car. Seat. In. The. Car.
    This is the big one for me. That thing is effing heavy. I mean ridiculously heavy. The baby is not so heavy. The car seat is not so heavy. You can have a 6 pound child, and when they sit in that car seat they instantly become a combined weight of 75 pounds. I’m not exactly sure how the physics work on this but I bet just about any mom out there can be back me up on this one. I refuse to carry around my son who is legitimately 20 pounds in a 60 pound car seat. I am just not carrying my heavy baby in his heavy car seat with his heavy diaper bag on one arm because I need the other arm free to do these pesky little things like open the car door or unlock my house.

Breastfeeding
It truly amazes me that beyond the health benefits no one ever sees the other benefits of breastfeeding. I just have to stop in awe when people ask me, “Ugh, how long are going to do that for?” With that look of I-just-smelled-something-rotten on their faces. Really? I’m going to do this as long as I damn well please. This is the easiest, most “normal” to feed you kid in my opinion. If I could breastfeed him for 6 years and it was socially acceptable, I would.

There are no bottles
    I seldom have to wash a bottle. And when I do, I can tell you this, my husband hears me bitch about it. For days. I hate washing bottles. It’s a pain in the ass, they take forever to dry, and they take up so much room while they’re not being used. And there is really no good way to get the damn nipples clean enough to my standards other than boiling them, and I just refuse to do that. No one like the smell of burning nipples in the air.

It’s free
    It doesn’t cost me a damn thing to whip out boob and feed my kid with it. It’s free. Always has been and always will be. I will never pay anything to feed my kid with my boobs. Except for the cost of a pump and a few nursing bras, the cost is minimal compared to a year’s worth of formula. I shudder to think about how much money we would have spent if my 20 pound 5 month old actually ate formula. I’m guessing we would have had to stop buying name peanut butter and switch the dog over to Wal-Mart brand food by now.

There is no measuring involved
    Never once have I had to think about how many ounces to mix with what and how much he needs in a day. This is why I wish I could breastfeed him forever. I hate having to think about measuring out his food and monitoring how much he eats how often. With breastfeeding it’s pretty damn self explanatory…feed the baby when he lets out a hunger cry, he’ll stop when he’s done, if he eats too much he’ll spit it out. There are no measuring cups involved with this, thus one less thing to wash. AND I always know that he is getting the exact amount of everything that he needs because my body knows exactly what to make for him.


So, that’s one mom’s take on some “crunchy” behaviors. You can give me all the shit in the world about how I’m damaging my son’s independence and thwarting my chances of being a normal person again. I really don’t care or buy into any of that. My son will not be in a carrier when he’s twelve, and I know I will wish he could be. I highly doubt I’m going to look back at this time period and think, “I wish I held my son less.” I enjoy every moment of carrying him against my chest and having our bonding over milk because I know soon enough he’ll be pushing me away as he’s heading in the door for his first day of high school.