During my last visit to the grocery store my five month old decided to vomit breast milk all over the front his shirt and mine. Normally, having vomit on myself would be cause to stop what I was doing and go home, however, I merely wiped us both off (more was on me than him) and kept on going because really, dinner wasn’t going to prepare itself that night. That’s when I realized how different a trip to the grocery store is before and after baby. Every mom knows and understands the battle that is grocery shopping.
Before you leave the house…
Before Baby: Check over your list. Gather coupons. Check the fridge to be sure there is nothing on the list you missed. Look in the mirror to ensure you don’t look too bad. Ready to roll.
After Baby: Make sure baby is changed and fed as soon as physically possible before leaving the house…if it was possible you would feed him as you’re walking to the car in order to postpone an “I’m Hungry” freak out in the store. Hope and pray that the diaper bag has at least the bare essentials. Run to the car and get the hell out of there while baby is calm in hopes of him falling asleep on the car ride there. Mirror? You didn’t look in it, but you think you showered a few days ago, so you can’t look too bad.
When you get to the store…
Before Baby: Pull your list out of your wallet, look it over one last time. Throw your purse over your shoulder and briskly walk into the store.
After Baby: Search frantically for your list, and then you remember, what list? You didn’t have time to make a list. See that baby is still awake in the backseat. Get baby out of the car seat and finagle him into his baby carrier while he’s pulling on your hair and kicking off his socks. Give baby a pacifier and cross your fingers that he won’t drop it until you’re at least in the store.
The actual shopping…
Before Baby: Leisurely stroll up and down the aisles, getting items you need and checking them off of your list one at a time. You compare prices versus quantity even pulling your phone out on occasion to see which product gives you more bang for your buck.
After Baby: Skip the aisles that you don’t think you need anything from…you’ll remember something that you needed right as the cashier tells you the total. Put pacifier back in baby’s mouth. Throw things in the cart that might be good for dinner. Put pacifier back in baby’s mouth. If it says it’s on sale, it must be a good deal, get two or three. Put pacifier back in baby’s mouth.
The cashier…
Before Baby: Put your items on the belt according to where they go in the house. All of the cold items stay together, breads stay together, make sure you keep things organized. Have your wallet and payment method all ready to roll when the cashier tells you the total.
After Baby: Grab things frantically from the cart and throw them on the belt wherever they will fit because baby is on the verge of a melt down. When the cashier tells you the total you then remember that you need to pay for these things. You begin the search through the diaper bag, hoping and praying that your wallet made it in the bag while the cashier rolls her eyes because she’s due for a lunch break.
Getting everything into the house…
Before Baby: Grab two or three bags at a time, make multiple trips as needed.
After Baby: Throw diaper bag over one shoulder, get the car seat out and put that in one arm. With your other arm, grab as many bags as humanly possible…even if it breaks your arm, you are NOT making a second trip out here. THINK you have all of the bags and run up to the house as quickly as possible before your left arm falls off or loses all circulation.
Putting the groceries away…
Before Baby: Take your time, rearrange cabinets or the fridge if needed. Put the older items up front and new stuff in the back.
After Baby: Shove things wherever they will go because you have about 45 seconds until baby freaks out and NEEDS to eat right then and there. If there’s something cold in the bag, don’t even bother unpacking the bag, just put the whole bag in the fridge. Later the next day when you’re looking for your milk you’ll remember it’s still in the car…and it is August, so now your car smells like spoiled milk, and you have no milk for your husband’s cereal.
I’ve currently come to realize that I don’t need to make every single trip to the store stressful for myself but once baby starts freaking out, I have no other options. Five months after having baby I’ve finally figured out some good ways to manage the fun battle of grocery shopping that doesn’t leave me pulling my hair out, but it took awhile and lots of trial and error to get here. So when you’re 8 months pregnant and you see that lady who hasn’t showered in a few days and has a screaming baby in the milk aisle, don’t roll your eyes because that WILL be you in a few weeks.
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