I've learned that my child is smarter than I give him credit for. He's learned how to not go to sleep some nights. These are a few of the tricks he has up his sleeve. I'm sure other moms can relate to these.
1. Scream. Endlessly.
I’m not talking about a little fussing to get your attention, I’m talking about the kind of screaming that results in you not being able to function. The kind of screaming that if it continues for a long time, you’ll be concerned that your neighbors might call Child Protective Services on you.
2. Smile. Coo. Laugh.
Anything to keep your love and attention focused on him. You’ll find that he’ll do some of the cutest, cutest things when he’s trying to avoid sleeping. The only problem is that nothing is really cute at 3 in the morning.
3. Hurt himself.
I’m guessing my child isn’t the only one who will do this. He’ll literally start hurling his whole body at the sides of the crib. It sounds painful and I’m guessing by the screams that it’s not enjoyable for him.
4. Refuse the pacifier.
My son is great at this. As soon as you put it in his mouth he’ll yank it out and start staring at it. Fine, so I’ll put him down in the crib. About 30-60 seconds later he’ll throw it somewhere and then be pissed because he can’t find it. Thanks buddy, I love hunting down a 3 inch piece of plastic in a dark room at three in the morning. It's like a scavenger hunt you never signed up for.
5. Have a fake fever.
My guy will get himself so overly worked up sometimes that I can’t tell if he has a fever or if he’s just angry from crying. So I’ll drag him downstairs and stick a thermometer in his butt to check it out. It’s never been a true fever, but I would feel like the worst mom ever if I just ignored it and it turned out to be a fever. Thanks, mommy guilt!
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