To The Mommy Snobs

Dear Snobby Mommys,

You know who you are. You’re the ones that have 6 children, all in perfect health condition, never a case of head lice, never a cold or even an allergy amongst them. Your children all have perfect manners. You’ve never ran from Target with your child throwing a hissy fit. You’ve never had to leave a restaurant because your baby is having an epic meltdown because you won’t let him play with a steak knife. Your children have slept through the night since 4 weeks old. You work a full time job, bake cookies on the weekends, your house is spotless, you have sex 6.4 times a week and you’ve never once raised your voice to your child.

To all of you: Please, stop rolling your eyes at me and other less than perfect stay at home moms. Stop making us feel like crap every time you remind us that you have a REAL job. Please, don’t point out to us that we’re home all day with our children and how nice that must be for us. As much we all love our children, I think it’s safe to say that there are days that we would LOVE to have a scheduled lunch break or an adult to talk to from time to time.

Don’t act like we’re trying to offend you by breastfeeding. I realize that breastfeeding is harder when you’re working full time, but don’t act like we’re committing an offensive act towards you by exclusively breastfeeding our children. It can be done when you’re working as well. That was your choice, stop making us feel like we did something wrong by choosing boob over bottle. I am in no way better than you, stop trying to act like I think I am. I completely respect your decision to bottle feed, so don't roll your eyes at me when I say my child is exclusively breast fed. I wouldn't dream of rolling my eyes at you when you whip out the formula, so please, return the favor.

Please don’t tell us how you taught your child to do something and then get pissy when your husband reminds you that no, actually you didn’t teach him that…it was the daycare teacher. Next time just tell us the truth so we can avoid this awkward moment when your husband corrects you and makes you look bad.

Please stop asking when I’m going back to work full time. You know the answer. We’ve been through this. Stop asking us this just to throw it in our faces that you work full time and mommy full time as well. We admire your dedication and need for work, don’t make us feel like we’ve failed all women by staying home.

Can we all just keep in mind that motherhood is not meant to a competition? There’s no right or wrong way to do anything. There’s benefits to staying home with your children and there are benefits to daycare. There are great things about breastfeeding, but there are some awesome things about bottle feeding as well. A good mom isn’t measured by how many cookies you bake for the school bake sale or how many hours your baby sleeps at night. All that matters is that you love your kids no matter what and do your damn best to make sure they know it.

Signed,
A Much Less Than Perfect Stay At Home Mom