This is a whole new level of guilt that I was not familiar with prior to having a baby. I never really understood this concept of mom’s having a different guilt-o-meter than the average person, but with my six month old baby around, I’m now learning differently. Anything that you didn’t do 100 percent “correct” according to all the baby books will now cause some level of irreparable harm to your child. And it's all your fault.
Things to feel guilty about…
-You didn’t stop eating dairy food while breastfeeding. There’s some new research out there that babies can’t break down dairy products, so now you’re blaming yourself for his tummy troubles because that MUST be it.
-You didn’t breastfeed, period. Now your baby will be developmentally hindered for the rest of his sad life. He will never be able to function as an adult because you didn’t breastfeed him.
-You went to the bathroom…by yourself…twice. That’s valuable time you could have spent with your child instead of tending to your selfish needs.
-You didn’t buy him the fancy three hundred dollar developmental toy that every baby needs. Now when he’s nine years old and struggling with mathematics, you will assume it’s because he didn’t get the proper toys to help him with developing those skills.
-You were too tired to take him outside for a walk today...or yesterday, and tomorrow's not looking good either. Now he won’t be used to playing outside when he’s older. Good job! Oh and also, he didn’t get enough vitamin D because you didn’t take him out in the sun today.
-You sat your baby in front of the television for 15 minutes while you showered or cooked dinner. His doctor said television time before two years old can cause major stress and developmental problems. It’s all your fault because he watched 15 minutes of the 5 O’clock News while you tried to shower before your husband got home.
-You let him sleep in his car seat, AFTER you read that it’s dangerous for babies to sleep in their car seats. Feel free to use this an excuse to blame yourself for any mood issues that baby has later in the day.
-You let him sleep in the swing, bouncer, boppy pillow, your bed…anywhere but his crib. Now he’ll never learn to sleep in his crib…EVER!
-You let him cry for 45 seconds while you were finishing up dinner. Now your mother-baby bond is ruined, forever.
-You bought store brand diapers…he didn’t get a rash from them and you saved 46 dollars, but you still feel guilty because he deserves the diapers with diamonds on his ass and gold flakes in the powder. Instead, you got the Target brand, they don’t even have a wetness indicator, let alone gold flakes of powder.Oh, the shame!
-You didn’t read to him last night because he was a terror and you were tired.
-You didn’t buy him a new puppy yet. Now when he’s 12 and putting his hamster in the microwave you will know it is your fault because he should have had a puppy before the age of one.
Eventually I’m hoping that these feelings of guilt over the stupidest crap go away, but really, I’m thinking it’s only going to get worse as time goes on. The way my mind works now is just completely different. In the past I hadn’t thought about things even a week ahead of time…now I’m sitting here assuming that my son is going to end up on America’s Most Wanted because I let him watch 20 minutes of television before the age of two. Thanks Mommy Guilt!
