When Was...

I find myself asking myself questions that start with this phrase a lot:
"When was the last time....?"

…I showered?
Most likely sometime this week. I can usually gauge this based on how grimy my hair is, lovely.

…I ate?
This goes two ways. Some days I’m constantly hungry and munching throughout the whole day so I’ll ask myself this when I’m super hungry…again. Then there are the days I’m so busy that I don’t realize I forgot to eat. The two even out pretty good.

…I fed the dog?
This almost always works in her favor because if I can’t remember if I fed or not that day, she’ll get fed again. I think she averages about 5 extra meals a week thanks to my mushy brain.

…I vacuumed?
No idea. My husband is awesome and he will usually do this if he finds the floor to be too “crunchy” for his liking.

…We left the house as a family?
This one is tricky. It’s typically about once a week but sometimes my husband lucks out and avoids this one if his mom is willing to take the baby for a few hours.

…We watched our favorite TV show that’s currently in season?
We tend to just forget when it’s on and then end up watching them all 6 months after they’ve aired.

…Took out the garbage?
I tend to just smash it down a lot these days out of sheer laziness. Then there will be an odd odor coming from the kitchen…that’s typically when I have to take it out. Then I’ll swear to remember what day I took it out so I can remember to take it out in a few days again…yeah, right.

Uterus vs. My Brain

I never really believed in that whole biological clock thing until recently. I always thought it was a bull shit excuse women used to have more babies. Now I get it. It’s never been a secret to anyone that knows me; I want lots of kids. I would love to have like 12 kids, but  reasonably I’m okay with three. Now we come to the issue of when do we have these extra children?

In the past month or so my uterus has decided that NOW is the time. My uterus/biological clock are working against every fiber of common sense in my brain trying to convince me that now is a good time for another baby. Here’s a little sneak peek at the crap that goes on between my head, the logical one, and my uterus.

My head: I want to wait a few years for another baby.
My uterus: But then your eggs might be dried out or no good, NOW! Have a baby now!

My head: I just want to enjoy my one little boy right now.
My uterus: If you had two babies you could enjoy them both at the same time!

My head: I want to sleep at least 4 hours straight before getting pregnant again.
My uterus: Bull shit! You’ll get it all over with at once, in a few years you’ll never have to worry about that again because your kids will be older.

My head: We just can’t afford it right now.
My uterus: And you were so prepared for the last one?! Yeah right, you’ll never be able to afford them, just do it now!

My head: I’m too exhausted to be pregnant right now.
My uterus: You think you’ll be any less tired when your son is 2 and running around like a crack head for 20 hours a day?

My head: There’s just too many things going on right now to make that kind of decision.
My uterus: There’s always going to be something going on! Who cares?

My head: I don’t know if I can handle two kids in diapers at the same time.
My uterus: It will be more depressing to get one out of diapers and then have to go back to diapers again and start over.

My head: It would be nice to not be pregnant or breastfeeding for a little while. I could have my body back for once!
My uterus: Selfish! You have your whole life to ruin your body, you only have a few years to make babies.

My head: I love my little guy so much, I want more babies.
My uterus: Damn straight! Let’s get this party rolling!

Eventually my uterus will win this battle, I’m just not sure when. I’m hoping that it’s when my husband and I are both ready for another baby. I want there be excitement around this next baby, not fear and worry. Thankfully I have a husband who is very, very good about birth control and will hopefully prevent any slip ups, just in case my uterus takes over my head one day.

Reasons For Calling His Doctor

As a first time mom I've made quite a few phone calls to our pediatrician. Thankfully their nursing staff is wonderful and extremely helpful. They've helped me out with some pretty ridiculous phone calls and never once laughed at me. I recently had to call again and was having some flashbacks to previous calls.

He's crying too much.
Yeah, in the first few weeks I called them more than once about this. I didn't know if something was wrong with him. I was convinced that he had some sort of issue, why else would he be crying this much?

He's pooping too much...or not enough.
At first, I was very concerned about my son's pooping habits. If he pooped twice in one day and then not at all the next I was on the phone immediately. Google was not my friend with this issue either. At one point I was pretty sure he had a blockage because he hadn't pooped for two days.

He's not sleeping.
I'm shocked that they didn't laugh at me for this one. But yes, I seriously did call them when he wasn't sleeping enough.

He's sleeping too much.
Yes, even this worried me in the beginning. So, what did I do? Called the doctor's office!

His eye looks funny.
Again, Google was not my friend here. His eye was slightly crusty one morning early on. I was pretty convinced he either had pink eye or he was going blind. When I told the nurse my concern she simply told me to just wipe his eye and see how it was in a few days.

He ate some of his diaper rash cream.
I was horrified the first time he reached around to his butt and then put his hand in his mouth. I probably should have called poison control, not the doctor's office, but by that time I already had his doctor on speed dial.

He hit his head on the crib.
Every head bump, every knock on the arm, I was so worried. I wanted to make sure he wasn't going to have a concussion. So, I called...every. single. time. 

He has a rash.
Most people would put some cream on it and see how it looked in a few days. Not this mama, I was calling the doctor as soon as there was a red bump on his skin. Needless to say, I heard the words, "Just put some (insert random cream name here) on it and call us in a few days," more than a few times.

What I'm getting at here is that in the beginning everything was a huge deal. I was so unsure of myself and my parenting skills. Not that I feel like super mom now but I definitely feel more sure of myself. It's so hard when they first come home and you have no idea what's normal and what's cause for concern. My best advice is always call when you're unsure. I'd rather have made 100 pointless phone calls than not made one that really needed a doctor's attention and had something happen to him.