Just some random thoughts for the day…
Moving sucks.
Packing sucks.
Moving with an infant sucks even more.
Packing with an infant insanely sucks.
I’m so ready to move and be done. I keep having this vision in my head of us moved into our house. Our furniture is somehow newer looking and fits perfectly in every room it’s supposed to. The walls have all been painted a perfect color. It’s evening, our son is fast asleep in his room and my husband and I are on our new patio enjoying an after dinner drink and holding hands.
The reality will most likely be that three months after we move in the painting still won’t be done. We’ll realize that our couch doesn’t fit anywhere in the house and is now awkwardly placed in the center of the living room. Our other furniture will be placed in areas that it should go, but won’t quite work there. Our son will inevitably be terrified of his new room and refuse to sleep in his crib without myself or my husband standing within a foot of him. We won’t get that after dinner drink together until next winter when it’s too damn cold to sit outside.
For now, I’m just holding on to what I’m hoping for and forgetting that reality isn’t here yet, so I have time to bask in my little fantasy world about what our move will be like once we’re all settled.
Until then, our house is a mess. There are boxes and tubs everywhere the eye can see. I haven’t been able to find anything I’m looking for yet I have multiple random objects that I can’t seem to find a good place for. I’m accepting that this is just how the moving process works. I’ve done this before, but never with an infant…and I prefer to not do this again in the near future. I’ve come to the conclusion that the next time we move our children will be old enough and big enough to not only pack boxes but actually help move heavy furniture as well.
Here's to hoping!
Friday, March 29, 2013
Thursday, March 28, 2013
"That" Family Member
I have a certain family member who is not my biggest fan. She’s never been outright rude to me, but she’s made enough comments to let me know that she thinks I’m pretty much a joke. I found out I’ll be having to interact with her again in the future and it made me remember all the little snide remarks she’s made to me since finding out I was pregnant.
My thought is that everyone has someone like this in their lives and can relate to the negative vibe that people give you when you tell them something you’re just so excited about and they shoot you down.
I said: I’m planning on a natural labor. It’s something I really want to at least try.
She said: (eye roll) Good luck with that. You’ll be begging for the drugs before you’re even ½ way done.
End result: 24 hours of natural labor, ending in a c-section. Do I regret it? In some way, yes, but over all, not at all.
I said: My son will be exclusively breastfed for the first six months.
She said: (eye roll) Yeah, we’ll see. It’s NOT that easy.
End result: She was right. It wasn’t easy. But I’m one determined bitch and I’ll be damned, that kid has never eaten an ounce of formula in his life.
I said: I don’t want to buy store baby food. I’m more comfortable with making my own.
She said: (eye roll) Who has time for that? Besides, baby won’t eat that kind of homemade food. Just buy some Gerber food.
End result: My son hates Gerber. He DOES get store bought food once in a while when we’re out in public. But even then, it’s the super organic, natural crap. The other 95% of the time he’s eating mama’s homemade food.
I said: He’ll be sleeping in our room for the first 6+ months. I’m not comfortable with him sleeping so far away.
She said: (eye roll) That’s crazy, you’ll never get any sleep.
End result: True, I never get any sleep. But, at least I feel better knowing my kid is okay at all times. And he’s over 7 months old and still sleeps in the crib by our bed. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I said: I need to do some reading on teething and breastfeeding.
She said: There’s nothing to read. They teethe. That’s all there is to it.
End result: True, but I’ve still found my reading to be somewhat helpful and offer some good advice.
I said: I’ll be staying home with our baby until he’s older or my husband finds a job that will work with my hours.
She said: Just use a daycare! There’s nothing wrong with that!
End result: There is nothing wrong with daycare. I agree. It just doesn’t make any sense for us financially. I’d be working 40 hours a week to make around 100 dollars. No thanks!
I know she means well, but it gets a little old when there’s never anything positive coming out of her mouth. She never had kids of her own so I’m guessing a lot of this crap is just stuff she’s heard or seen from other people’s children. I still tolerate her but I’ll be avoiding a few topics next time we get together.
My thought is that everyone has someone like this in their lives and can relate to the negative vibe that people give you when you tell them something you’re just so excited about and they shoot you down.
I said: I’m planning on a natural labor. It’s something I really want to at least try.
She said: (eye roll) Good luck with that. You’ll be begging for the drugs before you’re even ½ way done.
End result: 24 hours of natural labor, ending in a c-section. Do I regret it? In some way, yes, but over all, not at all.
I said: My son will be exclusively breastfed for the first six months.
She said: (eye roll) Yeah, we’ll see. It’s NOT that easy.
End result: She was right. It wasn’t easy. But I’m one determined bitch and I’ll be damned, that kid has never eaten an ounce of formula in his life.
I said: I don’t want to buy store baby food. I’m more comfortable with making my own.
She said: (eye roll) Who has time for that? Besides, baby won’t eat that kind of homemade food. Just buy some Gerber food.
End result: My son hates Gerber. He DOES get store bought food once in a while when we’re out in public. But even then, it’s the super organic, natural crap. The other 95% of the time he’s eating mama’s homemade food.
I said: He’ll be sleeping in our room for the first 6+ months. I’m not comfortable with him sleeping so far away.
She said: (eye roll) That’s crazy, you’ll never get any sleep.
End result: True, I never get any sleep. But, at least I feel better knowing my kid is okay at all times. And he’s over 7 months old and still sleeps in the crib by our bed. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I said: I need to do some reading on teething and breastfeeding.
She said: There’s nothing to read. They teethe. That’s all there is to it.
End result: True, but I’ve still found my reading to be somewhat helpful and offer some good advice.
I said: I’ll be staying home with our baby until he’s older or my husband finds a job that will work with my hours.
She said: Just use a daycare! There’s nothing wrong with that!
End result: There is nothing wrong with daycare. I agree. It just doesn’t make any sense for us financially. I’d be working 40 hours a week to make around 100 dollars. No thanks!
I know she means well, but it gets a little old when there’s never anything positive coming out of her mouth. She never had kids of her own so I’m guessing a lot of this crap is just stuff she’s heard or seen from other people’s children. I still tolerate her but I’ll be avoiding a few topics next time we get together.
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
The Little Things to Celebrate
I feel like as a stay at home mom, I need someone to give me a high five or a pat on the back from time to time. I need that little push that reminds me that I’m doing a good job no matter how crappy I feel or how crappy the house looks. Thankfully, my husband is awesome at reminding me of how great things are. I feel like I need to help celebrate with the other (stay at home) moms out there for the little things that make a huge difference in our families’ lives.
First and foremost: At the end of the day, the children are alive AND you know where they are. I don’t think we moms give ourselves enough credit for this. I think if men were in charge of the kids on a regular basis it would be totally commonplace to lose a child or two during the course of the day. There would be lost and found children departments in every major store and park in the country.
You and the kids got bathed/showered today. That’s a major accomplishment. One that deserves to be rewarded with wine or chocolate, or both. I don’t think men realize how much they appreciate this until they come home to find their wife and children all smelling like a gym locker room...then they're quite grateful on the days that you've all been bathed.
Dinner is made! Who cares if it’s just mac and cheese? It’s made, it’s on the table and you get extra bonus points if it’s still hot when you sit down to eat it.
You went to the grocery store…with the children. Big high fives all around to you, mama! That’s an exceptional task that requires more patience than we will ever, ever get credit for.
The house got vacuumed. Whoop whoop! That calls for a party! Especially when you have a teething child that was up all damn night the night before. That’s valuable time you could have used to sleep or shower but instead you chose to clean the house. That deserves a date night...or wine.
No one, including yourself, is crying when your husband walks in the door after work. This is one that I have a hard time with and I give myself a pat on the back whenever it happens. Hell, I only have one kid and I still find that challenging from time to time. Extra kudos to moms with more than one child who manage this task!
I’m not saying I want a cookie or a glass of wine every day for these things, but I feel like some days these types of things deserve some recognition. The days when your child is screaming endlessly because he’s teething or sick and you still manage to keep the house clean(ish) and cook (or go get) dinner; I think you need a high five!
Here’s to all of us moms that do it all while still keeping our shit together! Cheers!
First and foremost: At the end of the day, the children are alive AND you know where they are. I don’t think we moms give ourselves enough credit for this. I think if men were in charge of the kids on a regular basis it would be totally commonplace to lose a child or two during the course of the day. There would be lost and found children departments in every major store and park in the country.
You and the kids got bathed/showered today. That’s a major accomplishment. One that deserves to be rewarded with wine or chocolate, or both. I don’t think men realize how much they appreciate this until they come home to find their wife and children all smelling like a gym locker room...then they're quite grateful on the days that you've all been bathed.
Dinner is made! Who cares if it’s just mac and cheese? It’s made, it’s on the table and you get extra bonus points if it’s still hot when you sit down to eat it.
You went to the grocery store…with the children. Big high fives all around to you, mama! That’s an exceptional task that requires more patience than we will ever, ever get credit for.
The house got vacuumed. Whoop whoop! That calls for a party! Especially when you have a teething child that was up all damn night the night before. That’s valuable time you could have used to sleep or shower but instead you chose to clean the house. That deserves a date night...or wine.
No one, including yourself, is crying when your husband walks in the door after work. This is one that I have a hard time with and I give myself a pat on the back whenever it happens. Hell, I only have one kid and I still find that challenging from time to time. Extra kudos to moms with more than one child who manage this task!
I’m not saying I want a cookie or a glass of wine every day for these things, but I feel like some days these types of things deserve some recognition. The days when your child is screaming endlessly because he’s teething or sick and you still manage to keep the house clean(ish) and cook (or go get) dinner; I think you need a high five!
Here’s to all of us moms that do it all while still keeping our shit together! Cheers!
Monday, March 25, 2013
Could we not?
There’s a whole list of things I’d rather not deal with now that I have baby. These are things I wasn’t exactly fond of before he was born but since having him I’m even less inclined to do these things. I hope I don't sound like a total bitch, I just get so sick of people and their crap sometimes.
Could we not…exchange horror stories?
I know your kid was awful as a baby too. I don’t need a fucking yardstick to compare who has/had it worse. Babies can be wonderful, but they can also be stressful, each in their own wonderful way. (I love doing this with people online, but people in real life just annoy me with this crap).
Could we not…talk about our kid’s poop?
I don’t mind when other moms want to tell me vague facts, like their kid is constipated or has diarrhea, but I don’t need to know what color your kid’s poop is. I’ll refrain from telling you about the rainbow spouting from kid’s ass if you’ll do the same for me, thanks.
Could we not…talk about how our kid’s were conceived?
Again, in my online communities, I enjoy this kind of conversation. In real life with people I see on a regular basis, I don’t need to know about how many times a week you were having sex before conceiving your child.
Could we not…compare ourselves?
Just like no two kids are the same, neither are their moms. I’m sorry I can’t whip up a batch of cookies and a three course meal after working a 12 hour shift and still manage to get my kid to bed at eight and then have romantic sex with my husband. Shit, I don’t even work and I can’t manage that. Don’t make me feel like shit for not living up to your standards.
Could we not…have lavish birthday parties for children who are too young to appreciate them?
I get it, you want to celebrate, but is a bounce house and a clown really necessary when your kid is a year old? I think not. I know I’ll be getting a few eye rolls at my kid’s first birthday because it’s going to be simple as all hell. I’ll save my money for when he might actually remember the party.
Could we not…keep score when it comes to Christmas gifts?
The point of Christmas is supposed to be to be with family and have a good time, not see who can spend more on the other. I get that we only have one kid but I still don’t have loads of cash laying around to blow on random gifts that people don’t need. I have no idea if anyone really cares but I feel like there’s an unspoken score card being kept. What did I give for Christmas this year? Wine and pictures of my kid. Sorry, I have no idea what you like or want, so I’m sticking with wine.
Could we not…act like best friends?
It feels like I’m supposed to know everyone in my husband’s family on a personal level. A few of them, I actually feel like I do know on a good personal level and enjoy the relationship we have. The vast majority, I have no fucking clue what their hobbies, likes, or dislikes are. I know them on the most superficial level. Yet, it seems like when we get together, we all put on this front that we know each other so well. Yeah, I have no clue what your favorite color is or what your middle name is.
Just a few of my little pet peeves that have come to the surface lately. I hate feeling like everything in motherhood is always a competition. It's not, let's not make it one.
Could we not…exchange horror stories?
I know your kid was awful as a baby too. I don’t need a fucking yardstick to compare who has/had it worse. Babies can be wonderful, but they can also be stressful, each in their own wonderful way. (I love doing this with people online, but people in real life just annoy me with this crap).
Could we not…talk about our kid’s poop?
I don’t mind when other moms want to tell me vague facts, like their kid is constipated or has diarrhea, but I don’t need to know what color your kid’s poop is. I’ll refrain from telling you about the rainbow spouting from kid’s ass if you’ll do the same for me, thanks.
Could we not…talk about how our kid’s were conceived?
Again, in my online communities, I enjoy this kind of conversation. In real life with people I see on a regular basis, I don’t need to know about how many times a week you were having sex before conceiving your child.
Could we not…compare ourselves?
Just like no two kids are the same, neither are their moms. I’m sorry I can’t whip up a batch of cookies and a three course meal after working a 12 hour shift and still manage to get my kid to bed at eight and then have romantic sex with my husband. Shit, I don’t even work and I can’t manage that. Don’t make me feel like shit for not living up to your standards.
Could we not…have lavish birthday parties for children who are too young to appreciate them?
I get it, you want to celebrate, but is a bounce house and a clown really necessary when your kid is a year old? I think not. I know I’ll be getting a few eye rolls at my kid’s first birthday because it’s going to be simple as all hell. I’ll save my money for when he might actually remember the party.
Could we not…keep score when it comes to Christmas gifts?
The point of Christmas is supposed to be to be with family and have a good time, not see who can spend more on the other. I get that we only have one kid but I still don’t have loads of cash laying around to blow on random gifts that people don’t need. I have no idea if anyone really cares but I feel like there’s an unspoken score card being kept. What did I give for Christmas this year? Wine and pictures of my kid. Sorry, I have no idea what you like or want, so I’m sticking with wine.
Could we not…act like best friends?
It feels like I’m supposed to know everyone in my husband’s family on a personal level. A few of them, I actually feel like I do know on a good personal level and enjoy the relationship we have. The vast majority, I have no fucking clue what their hobbies, likes, or dislikes are. I know them on the most superficial level. Yet, it seems like when we get together, we all put on this front that we know each other so well. Yeah, I have no clue what your favorite color is or what your middle name is.
Just a few of my little pet peeves that have come to the surface lately. I hate feeling like everything in motherhood is always a competition. It's not, let's not make it one.
Sunday, March 24, 2013
What They Don't Tell You About C-Sections
I am one of those moms who has to hang her head low and say, “Yes, he was born via c-section.” It’s true, after nearly 24 hours of natural labor my son was born via c-section. While I obviously wasn’t planning for this to be the outcome, there were also a few other things I wasn’t planning on with the c-section. There were just a few key things that all of the doctors, nurses and fellow moms somehow managed to leave out.
You are expected to walk around…the next day.
Seriously. I’ll give you a moment to that let absorb. Yeah, I couldn’t believe it either. The day before you spend hours in agonizing labor, get whisked off for an emergency c-section, then you have layers of skin, fat and organs cut open, THEN a doctor pulls a 6-10 pound bundle of joy from a gigantic hole in your stomach. Then the previously mentioned hole is sowed/stapled shut. And the next day you are expected to get out of your bed. If men had this procedure done I can assure you they would be in a medically induced coma for weeks following the procedure.
However, if you’re lucky enough to be a woman you get just the opposite treatment. The day…approximately 18 hours later a nurse walks into the room and tells me we’re going for a walk. I laughed. Seriously, I laughed. I couldn’t believe that this nurse was serious. But, she was very serious indeed. She had me get up and walk around the room. Granted, she didn’t have me doing a marathon, but after a surgery like that, they might as well have broken out the hurdles and the balance beams because that’s what it felt like.
The pain gets worse.
The first few days really suck, I’m not going to lie. Looking back, I considered those the honeymoon days of the pain. You still have the mondo dose of painkillers from the epidural running through your system for the first few days and none of your nerve endings have come back yet, so even though it’s bad, it’s a much more dulled version of what’s to come. Then after you’ve been home for a day or two you start getting feeling back…with a vengeance. You begin to understand why people bitch when they have surgery.
I will never forget that moment when things started to hurt like hell. I was laying in the recliner with my son and went to stand up and I literally fell back down in the chair. I thought the worst was behind me by that point, before that I remember thinking, “Yeah, this sucks, but it’s not so bad.” Boy, was I wrong, like ridiculously wrong. When the pain comes back it hits you like…like you had a baby pried from the walls of your uterus and your stomach was sliced to bits a few days ago. I was trying to think of a catchy little comparison, but really, there is no comparison that could give justice to that experience. Oh, and you don’t even get the “good” drugs for pain, and if you do it’s not for more than a few days. More than likely you’ll be sent home with a prescription for some Ibuprofen…does that sound familiar? It should, because Ibuprofen is basically just Advil. Yep, you get some Advil to cope with that pain.
You still have to take care of the baby.
Yeah, even after all that happens to your body and you’re left lying there like an abused, deflated balloon they still expect you to care for your baby. You’re beyond tired, beyond sick (did I not mention the uncontrollable puking for the next 24 hours?) and just beyond done…and then they give you this baby and say, “Feed it!” I remember being so thrilled to see him but also wishing I could take a nap. But no, after the lovely experience of having a c-section you then have to learn to breastfeed. I seriously thought that since my body had been through such an ordeal I would get some time, at least a few extra hours, before this all got started, but nope, not even close. As soon as we were back in the room there I was whipping my boob out and trying maneuver a nipple into my son’s mouth. I couldn’t even pee without a catheter or feel my legs yet but I was expected to provide 24/7 care for my baby.
People will assume you took the easy way out.
After your long recovery and feeling like total shit for weeks to come you start to hear the lovely remarks from people. They start off really subtle and then eventually become blatantly obvious. A lot of people will insinuate that you got the easy end of the deal, others will just tell you straight out that you are a wimp for having a c-section. I labored for nearly 24 hours before having a c-section and people still assume that I had a c-section by choice. Many people have let me know that I probably just didn’t try hard enough.
You will get this too. This might not happen right away but eventually you’re going to have that mom who got to deliver her baby the normal way. And she’s going to ever so subtly jam that proverbial fork into your side with a simple statement of, “Oh, you’re lucky, you just had a c-section, I had my baby vaginally.” You’re going to have to muster all of your strength to not yank her hair out and make her eat it. It’s the ultimate burn to the mother who tried so hard to have a normal birth and ends up with a c-section to hear the words, “You’re so lucky,” from a vaginal delivery mom. And you will learn to smile and nod because no matter how much you tell them how bad recovery sucks, they still assume you took the easy way out.
Sex still hurts for awhile.
Like I’ve said before I had labor and pushing…my kid was basically almost out, he just refused to come out the last little bit. We knew what color his hair was before he was born, I’ll put it that way. For whatever reason, I just assumed that since he didn’t actually come out of my vagina that sex wouldn’t hurt afterwards. WRONG! It still hurts like hell. And not only does your vagina hurt during sex but you also have a brand new wound to worry about during sex as well. The first time we tried to have sex was worst than my actual first sexual encounter. It was painful, awkward, painful, gross, painful, unenjoyable and did I mention painful? Yeah, I don’t think of either of us enjoyed that experience. I was pretty sure my son would be an only child because the thought of repeating that ever again was laughable.
Eventually it got better, but it took awhile. I even went back to my doctor to make sure my kidneys hadn’t somehow found their way into my vagina during the c-section…I was convinced there was something in my vagina that wasn’t supposed to be there, that’s how bad it hurt. But, it DOES get better, just don’t go expecting some sexy Lifetime Movie moments the first few months post-baby.
I’ve since come to learn that regardless of how my son born, I did the best I could. For months afterwards I felt guilty for not being able to give him a normal birth and hold him seconds after his birth. I still feel bad that he was held by 10 other people before I even got to see him, but I’ve come to terms with this and I’m okay with it now…kind of. And no matter how shitty of an experience that c-section was, I’m still up for round two when the time comes. There’s nothing that could ever stop me from wanting to hold another little baby in my arms in for the first time, or see that proud smile on my husband’s face.
You are expected to walk around…the next day.
Seriously. I’ll give you a moment to that let absorb. Yeah, I couldn’t believe it either. The day before you spend hours in agonizing labor, get whisked off for an emergency c-section, then you have layers of skin, fat and organs cut open, THEN a doctor pulls a 6-10 pound bundle of joy from a gigantic hole in your stomach. Then the previously mentioned hole is sowed/stapled shut. And the next day you are expected to get out of your bed. If men had this procedure done I can assure you they would be in a medically induced coma for weeks following the procedure.
However, if you’re lucky enough to be a woman you get just the opposite treatment. The day…approximately 18 hours later a nurse walks into the room and tells me we’re going for a walk. I laughed. Seriously, I laughed. I couldn’t believe that this nurse was serious. But, she was very serious indeed. She had me get up and walk around the room. Granted, she didn’t have me doing a marathon, but after a surgery like that, they might as well have broken out the hurdles and the balance beams because that’s what it felt like.
The pain gets worse.
The first few days really suck, I’m not going to lie. Looking back, I considered those the honeymoon days of the pain. You still have the mondo dose of painkillers from the epidural running through your system for the first few days and none of your nerve endings have come back yet, so even though it’s bad, it’s a much more dulled version of what’s to come. Then after you’ve been home for a day or two you start getting feeling back…with a vengeance. You begin to understand why people bitch when they have surgery.
I will never forget that moment when things started to hurt like hell. I was laying in the recliner with my son and went to stand up and I literally fell back down in the chair. I thought the worst was behind me by that point, before that I remember thinking, “Yeah, this sucks, but it’s not so bad.” Boy, was I wrong, like ridiculously wrong. When the pain comes back it hits you like…like you had a baby pried from the walls of your uterus and your stomach was sliced to bits a few days ago. I was trying to think of a catchy little comparison, but really, there is no comparison that could give justice to that experience. Oh, and you don’t even get the “good” drugs for pain, and if you do it’s not for more than a few days. More than likely you’ll be sent home with a prescription for some Ibuprofen…does that sound familiar? It should, because Ibuprofen is basically just Advil. Yep, you get some Advil to cope with that pain.
You still have to take care of the baby.
Yeah, even after all that happens to your body and you’re left lying there like an abused, deflated balloon they still expect you to care for your baby. You’re beyond tired, beyond sick (did I not mention the uncontrollable puking for the next 24 hours?) and just beyond done…and then they give you this baby and say, “Feed it!” I remember being so thrilled to see him but also wishing I could take a nap. But no, after the lovely experience of having a c-section you then have to learn to breastfeed. I seriously thought that since my body had been through such an ordeal I would get some time, at least a few extra hours, before this all got started, but nope, not even close. As soon as we were back in the room there I was whipping my boob out and trying maneuver a nipple into my son’s mouth. I couldn’t even pee without a catheter or feel my legs yet but I was expected to provide 24/7 care for my baby.
People will assume you took the easy way out.
After your long recovery and feeling like total shit for weeks to come you start to hear the lovely remarks from people. They start off really subtle and then eventually become blatantly obvious. A lot of people will insinuate that you got the easy end of the deal, others will just tell you straight out that you are a wimp for having a c-section. I labored for nearly 24 hours before having a c-section and people still assume that I had a c-section by choice. Many people have let me know that I probably just didn’t try hard enough.
You will get this too. This might not happen right away but eventually you’re going to have that mom who got to deliver her baby the normal way. And she’s going to ever so subtly jam that proverbial fork into your side with a simple statement of, “Oh, you’re lucky, you just had a c-section, I had my baby vaginally.” You’re going to have to muster all of your strength to not yank her hair out and make her eat it. It’s the ultimate burn to the mother who tried so hard to have a normal birth and ends up with a c-section to hear the words, “You’re so lucky,” from a vaginal delivery mom. And you will learn to smile and nod because no matter how much you tell them how bad recovery sucks, they still assume you took the easy way out.
Sex still hurts for awhile.
Like I’ve said before I had labor and pushing…my kid was basically almost out, he just refused to come out the last little bit. We knew what color his hair was before he was born, I’ll put it that way. For whatever reason, I just assumed that since he didn’t actually come out of my vagina that sex wouldn’t hurt afterwards. WRONG! It still hurts like hell. And not only does your vagina hurt during sex but you also have a brand new wound to worry about during sex as well. The first time we tried to have sex was worst than my actual first sexual encounter. It was painful, awkward, painful, gross, painful, unenjoyable and did I mention painful? Yeah, I don’t think of either of us enjoyed that experience. I was pretty sure my son would be an only child because the thought of repeating that ever again was laughable.
Eventually it got better, but it took awhile. I even went back to my doctor to make sure my kidneys hadn’t somehow found their way into my vagina during the c-section…I was convinced there was something in my vagina that wasn’t supposed to be there, that’s how bad it hurt. But, it DOES get better, just don’t go expecting some sexy Lifetime Movie moments the first few months post-baby.
I’ve since come to learn that regardless of how my son born, I did the best I could. For months afterwards I felt guilty for not being able to give him a normal birth and hold him seconds after his birth. I still feel bad that he was held by 10 other people before I even got to see him, but I’ve come to terms with this and I’m okay with it now…kind of. And no matter how shitty of an experience that c-section was, I’m still up for round two when the time comes. There’s nothing that could ever stop me from wanting to hold another little baby in my arms in for the first time, or see that proud smile on my husband’s face.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
New Dad Superpowers
My husband is amazing, I really couldn’t have asked for a better husband. However, I am loving this new set of “superpowers” he has developed since our son was born.
1. He can sleep through anything. He will be able to sleep through your child crying, screaming, vomiting, and coughing. You’ll begin to wonder if he would sleep through being “accidentally” kicked…and you’ll find that most of the time he can.
2. He can miraculously disappear the second the baby starts crying or even remotely smells dirty. You’ll have no idea how but suddenly he’ll be very engrossed in a very important project to avoid changing that diaper. “Sorry dear, I can’t change that diaper, I’m in the middle of disassembling this bomb.”
3. He forgets where you put everything. Everything. He will never be able to find that stack of diapers. You must have moved it. So therefore, he can’t change the baby.
4. He suddenly becomes employee of the month. He needs to work extra hours, even if there’s no extra pay. Anything to get home just a little while later.
5. He has a knack for “needing” to do things on the weekends. Miraculously his car NEEDS an oil change on Saturday…the same day you were planning to take the kids to the zoo.
6. This goes with number three. He will be completely oblivious to something right in front of him when you ask him to hand it to you.
7. Although he can’t hear the baby cry, he can hear you come home before your tires even hit the driveway. And he’s ready at the door for you with baby in arms.
8. He will forget how to cook. And how to use the coffee maker.
9. He can sense when baby is about to spit up and will quickly hand him off to you.
10. He knows when the baby needs to eat. Any time he’s in charge and the baby cries, he will assume that the baby needs to eat. Since you’re breastfeeding, this becomes your problem.
I was blessed with a really great husband. While, yes, he is guilty of a few of these, he is overall really great about helping me with the baby. Honestly, I can’t blame him for the most part. But he’s a total trooper and always comes home on time with a smile on his face happy to see me and my son no matter how much the baby is crying or how long it’s been since I’ve showered.
1. He can sleep through anything. He will be able to sleep through your child crying, screaming, vomiting, and coughing. You’ll begin to wonder if he would sleep through being “accidentally” kicked…and you’ll find that most of the time he can.
2. He can miraculously disappear the second the baby starts crying or even remotely smells dirty. You’ll have no idea how but suddenly he’ll be very engrossed in a very important project to avoid changing that diaper. “Sorry dear, I can’t change that diaper, I’m in the middle of disassembling this bomb.”
3. He forgets where you put everything. Everything. He will never be able to find that stack of diapers. You must have moved it. So therefore, he can’t change the baby.
4. He suddenly becomes employee of the month. He needs to work extra hours, even if there’s no extra pay. Anything to get home just a little while later.
5. He has a knack for “needing” to do things on the weekends. Miraculously his car NEEDS an oil change on Saturday…the same day you were planning to take the kids to the zoo.
6. This goes with number three. He will be completely oblivious to something right in front of him when you ask him to hand it to you.
7. Although he can’t hear the baby cry, he can hear you come home before your tires even hit the driveway. And he’s ready at the door for you with baby in arms.
8. He will forget how to cook. And how to use the coffee maker.
9. He can sense when baby is about to spit up and will quickly hand him off to you.
10. He knows when the baby needs to eat. Any time he’s in charge and the baby cries, he will assume that the baby needs to eat. Since you’re breastfeeding, this becomes your problem.
I was blessed with a really great husband. While, yes, he is guilty of a few of these, he is overall really great about helping me with the baby. Honestly, I can’t blame him for the most part. But he’s a total trooper and always comes home on time with a smile on his face happy to see me and my son no matter how much the baby is crying or how long it’s been since I’ve showered.
Monday, March 18, 2013
My Love/Hate Relationship with Amazon
Back before I had a baby I used to love browsing the stores. I would spend hours at the mall or Target. Occasionally I would splurge and by myself or my husband something nice or fancy. It wouldn’t be anything major, just a nice pair of jeans or a new bottle of nail polish. The best part though was just being about to leisurely walk around the store and contemplate what I should buy.
Now, since having a baby, I’m like a mad woman when I shop. I simply grab things that I need (or think I might need) as I see them and throw them in the cart before my son has a blow out diaper or melt down in aisle seven. I miss the days of walking around Target with a Caramel Machiato in one hand, pushing the cart with the other and just looking around the house wares department in search of a new shower curtain or throw rug. There was truly something therapeutic about this kind of experience.
Since having baby my retail therapy needs to come from elsewhere. I can no longer spend hours at Target search of a shower curtain, and let’s face, I don’t shower nearly as often so why do I give a shit if the shower curtain is getting gross? So, I needed to find some other way to enhance my life with retail therapy.
Then I suddenly remembered my best, best friend; Amazon. I can sit up on the computer at three in the morning and browse through all sorts of things. I look for new baby bottles, read the three hundred reviews, pick out a new razor for my husband and even get myself some new nail polish, all while sitting on my unshowered ass in my pajamas in my living at three in the morning.
99 percent of the time my purchases contain at least one of the following items: breast milk storage bags, pacifiers (because ours are forever being eaten by our house), new nipples for our bottles, some sort of baby toy, or some random thing my husband needs. Very rarely do I actually splurge and get myself something lately, which is totally fine, I actually don’t mind this as much as I thought I would.
However, I’m coming to find this quite addictive. All it really takes is a few clicks and BAM, in less than a week I have all sorts of new things being delivered to my front door. There’s almost a high that comes along with ripping into that box from Amazon. I don’t give a shit if it’s just new pacifiers, the main word here is “NEW.” I like new things! There’s shiny and pretty!
I need to start containing my obsession though because my purchases all end up on my credit card. A few purchases of 26.50 a month doesn’t sound like a whole lot at the time but when I up with an 80 dollar credit card bill, I find myself a little pissed off about my new addiction. On the plus side, my credit score has gone way up since having the baby because I put more things on my credit card than ever before!
So, here’s to hoping I can find some other less expensive way to get my high from new shiny things. We’re currently in the process of moving so less and less needs to be getting delivered to my house. But hey, there’s still no harm in browsing the “aisles” of Amazon, right?
Now, since having a baby, I’m like a mad woman when I shop. I simply grab things that I need (or think I might need) as I see them and throw them in the cart before my son has a blow out diaper or melt down in aisle seven. I miss the days of walking around Target with a Caramel Machiato in one hand, pushing the cart with the other and just looking around the house wares department in search of a new shower curtain or throw rug. There was truly something therapeutic about this kind of experience.
Since having baby my retail therapy needs to come from elsewhere. I can no longer spend hours at Target search of a shower curtain, and let’s face, I don’t shower nearly as often so why do I give a shit if the shower curtain is getting gross? So, I needed to find some other way to enhance my life with retail therapy.
Then I suddenly remembered my best, best friend; Amazon. I can sit up on the computer at three in the morning and browse through all sorts of things. I look for new baby bottles, read the three hundred reviews, pick out a new razor for my husband and even get myself some new nail polish, all while sitting on my unshowered ass in my pajamas in my living at three in the morning.
99 percent of the time my purchases contain at least one of the following items: breast milk storage bags, pacifiers (because ours are forever being eaten by our house), new nipples for our bottles, some sort of baby toy, or some random thing my husband needs. Very rarely do I actually splurge and get myself something lately, which is totally fine, I actually don’t mind this as much as I thought I would.
However, I’m coming to find this quite addictive. All it really takes is a few clicks and BAM, in less than a week I have all sorts of new things being delivered to my front door. There’s almost a high that comes along with ripping into that box from Amazon. I don’t give a shit if it’s just new pacifiers, the main word here is “NEW.” I like new things! There’s shiny and pretty!
I need to start containing my obsession though because my purchases all end up on my credit card. A few purchases of 26.50 a month doesn’t sound like a whole lot at the time but when I up with an 80 dollar credit card bill, I find myself a little pissed off about my new addiction. On the plus side, my credit score has gone way up since having the baby because I put more things on my credit card than ever before!
So, here’s to hoping I can find some other less expensive way to get my high from new shiny things. We’re currently in the process of moving so less and less needs to be getting delivered to my house. But hey, there’s still no harm in browsing the “aisles” of Amazon, right?
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
The Crappy Advice People Give You
I get so sick and tired of people offering me advice when I don't ask for it.
If I come to you broken down and crying then by all means, offer me advice. Otherwise, I really don’t give a crap what your aunt’s friend’s daughter’s sister-in-law did about her baby’s diaper rash.
And contrary to popular belief…all babies are different! This concept is totally mind blowing to some people. They automatically assume that because this worked for their friend’s aunt’s baby then it just HAS to work for yours. When you tell them you’ve already tried that and it didn’t work, that assume you’re lying. And don't even get me started on the people that tell you must have done something wrong if their technique didn't work.
So here’s some of the gems I’ve heard lately…
1. “Just let him cry, he’ll learn to self soothe!” Except he doesn’t self soothe, instead vomits and then continues crying more. And we share a room, so that one is off the table. This one is my BIGGEST pet peeve because people act like gods when it comes to this method. It annoys me so much, I actually wrote a whole entry dedicated to it. That's how often I hear this one.
2. “If you put a hat on him at night he’ll sleep better.” Or he’ll just over heat and cry. My kid is always hot, the last thing he needs an extra layer on his head.
3. “Take him for a ride around the block when he’s giving you a hard time.” I’ve done this and yes, it works. However, gas is currently right around 3.50 a gallon. I can’t afford to make that a habit for him. So, unless we invest in a Hybrid, my kid will not be soothed by long car rides.
4. “You should really start weaning him from breastfeeding.” Bite me, he’s 7 months old.
5. “Give him juice to help keep him regular.” This DOES work, but unfortunately the people who suggest it to me are not there when the diaper from hell erupts from this method.
6. “Don’t hold him too much, you’ll spoil him.” He’s my first born, he’s going to be spoiled for now. Once baby two comes along I can equally ignore both of them as needed to focus on the other.
7. “Put him to sleep on his stomach.” Are you still in 1980? Things have changed, have you heard of SIDS?
8. "He needs to be eating finger foods by now." Thanks, so when my child chokes on a green bean will you be there to help dislodge it? No? Then, go away and leave me to my purees.
Granted, I know each and every one of these pieces of advice was given with the best intentions but it’s just incredibly frustrating. There have been times I’ll go crying to someone looking for advice, and then I welcome their advice with open arms. It’s the people who just feel the need to constantly give me “new” ideas that just get under my skin. This is the exact reason why I seldom offer advice to anyone about anything. Ever.
If I come to you broken down and crying then by all means, offer me advice. Otherwise, I really don’t give a crap what your aunt’s friend’s daughter’s sister-in-law did about her baby’s diaper rash.
And contrary to popular belief…all babies are different! This concept is totally mind blowing to some people. They automatically assume that because this worked for their friend’s aunt’s baby then it just HAS to work for yours. When you tell them you’ve already tried that and it didn’t work, that assume you’re lying. And don't even get me started on the people that tell you must have done something wrong if their technique didn't work.
So here’s some of the gems I’ve heard lately…
1. “Just let him cry, he’ll learn to self soothe!” Except he doesn’t self soothe, instead vomits and then continues crying more. And we share a room, so that one is off the table. This one is my BIGGEST pet peeve because people act like gods when it comes to this method. It annoys me so much, I actually wrote a whole entry dedicated to it. That's how often I hear this one.
2. “If you put a hat on him at night he’ll sleep better.” Or he’ll just over heat and cry. My kid is always hot, the last thing he needs an extra layer on his head.
3. “Take him for a ride around the block when he’s giving you a hard time.” I’ve done this and yes, it works. However, gas is currently right around 3.50 a gallon. I can’t afford to make that a habit for him. So, unless we invest in a Hybrid, my kid will not be soothed by long car rides.
4. “You should really start weaning him from breastfeeding.” Bite me, he’s 7 months old.
5. “Give him juice to help keep him regular.” This DOES work, but unfortunately the people who suggest it to me are not there when the diaper from hell erupts from this method.
6. “Don’t hold him too much, you’ll spoil him.” He’s my first born, he’s going to be spoiled for now. Once baby two comes along I can equally ignore both of them as needed to focus on the other.
7. “Put him to sleep on his stomach.” Are you still in 1980? Things have changed, have you heard of SIDS?
8. "He needs to be eating finger foods by now." Thanks, so when my child chokes on a green bean will you be there to help dislodge it? No? Then, go away and leave me to my purees.
Granted, I know each and every one of these pieces of advice was given with the best intentions but it’s just incredibly frustrating. There have been times I’ll go crying to someone looking for advice, and then I welcome their advice with open arms. It’s the people who just feel the need to constantly give me “new” ideas that just get under my skin. This is the exact reason why I seldom offer advice to anyone about anything. Ever.
Monday, March 4, 2013
I'm Back
I was getting really into this blogging thing when a really shitty family emergency came up.
Everything has more or less been dealt with and we're all trying to get back to "normal" now. For those of you that actually know me, you know what happened and I thank you for your kind words and help these last few weeks.
I've had my rough days, I've had my really bad days, but each day things change a little bit more. I thank "god" that I have my child here with me to help me through this. Without getting to see his smile every day and having my husband by my side I don't know how I'd be getting out of bed every day.
So, that's it! I'm back, and I'll be blogging again here on a regular basis.
Everything has more or less been dealt with and we're all trying to get back to "normal" now. For those of you that actually know me, you know what happened and I thank you for your kind words and help these last few weeks.
I've had my rough days, I've had my really bad days, but each day things change a little bit more. I thank "god" that I have my child here with me to help me through this. Without getting to see his smile every day and having my husband by my side I don't know how I'd be getting out of bed every day.
So, that's it! I'm back, and I'll be blogging again here on a regular basis.
Why I’ve Come To Hate The Cry It Out Method
Before I even start, I need to say this…If the cry it out method works for you and your family, that’s great! I do not mean to say that you are a bad parent or that you’re harming your child or anything like that. I’m a firm believer in doing what works best for your situation, and if cry it out is something your baby responds well to, then more power to you! This is just my experience and my take on it for MY family. I am not intending to judge anyone here at all because I don’t live with your babies.
Cry it out (CIO) is one of the oldest methods in the book. Everyone and their brother has used it, swears by it, or hates it. There are very few people who are in the middle; either you hate it or you love it. I’m one of those people that hates it. Mostly because it doesn’t work for my child and yet people still insist on telling me that I need to do with him. These are just a few of the reasons why I want to slap someone every time they say, “Just let him cry.” I've recently been using a method called, "Fuss it out." I find that this works a lot better than the full blown "Cry it out" method. Here's why I prefer FIO over CIO...
1. There is nothing “soothing” about this method. Everyone says it teaches self soothing and it’s good for them. There is NOTHING soothing about a baby screaming for hours on end in the middle of the night.
2. My kid vomits when he cries for more than five minutes. I refuse to make myself have to clean up vomit AND deal with a crying baby at two in the morning.
3. He sleeps three feet away from me. I cannot physically handle listening to him cry for more than a few minutes when he’s that close. I might as well just sit next to his crib and hand him a mega phone to cry into.
4. I know plenty of 18 month olds that still cry every night for hours on end. Obviously this method isn’t working for your child either.
5. I feel like ignoring him is not something I want to do when he’s so young. He has his whole life to learn that people suck, I don’t want to teach him that at 6 months old.
6. He gets more worked up. If I let him cry for a few minutes and then go to him, he’s fine and falls back asleep in a few minutes. When he goes more than a few minutes he gets super pissed and it can take an hour or more to calm him back down.
7. It’s learned helplessness. I just don’t like that, plain and simple.
8. I hate the term “sleep training.” He is my child, not my golden retriever.
9. It gets him all hot and bothered. Literally. He gets really hot when he cries for too long. So now, I have a hot, vomit covered, angry, worked up baby on my hands.
10. It makes me leak. If he cries for more than a few minutes and it’s that really distressed cry I leak all over myself. My boobs just can’t handle it.
When I say “cry” I don’t mean just whimpering and settling down kind of cry, I’m talking about the full-fledged freak out kind of crying. If he’s just kind of whimpering, I have no problem leaving him there to settle himself down.. Hell, letting him whimper and fuss for a few minutes is the only way he will fall asleep on his own. It’s when it’s that major “I’m going to make your life a living hell if you don’t give me my damn pacifier” kind of crying kicks in that I can’t just leave him there. Maybe one day I’ll be able to cave and do it, but I doubt it.
Cry it out (CIO) is one of the oldest methods in the book. Everyone and their brother has used it, swears by it, or hates it. There are very few people who are in the middle; either you hate it or you love it. I’m one of those people that hates it. Mostly because it doesn’t work for my child and yet people still insist on telling me that I need to do with him. These are just a few of the reasons why I want to slap someone every time they say, “Just let him cry.” I've recently been using a method called, "Fuss it out." I find that this works a lot better than the full blown "Cry it out" method. Here's why I prefer FIO over CIO...
1. There is nothing “soothing” about this method. Everyone says it teaches self soothing and it’s good for them. There is NOTHING soothing about a baby screaming for hours on end in the middle of the night.
2. My kid vomits when he cries for more than five minutes. I refuse to make myself have to clean up vomit AND deal with a crying baby at two in the morning.
3. He sleeps three feet away from me. I cannot physically handle listening to him cry for more than a few minutes when he’s that close. I might as well just sit next to his crib and hand him a mega phone to cry into.
4. I know plenty of 18 month olds that still cry every night for hours on end. Obviously this method isn’t working for your child either.
5. I feel like ignoring him is not something I want to do when he’s so young. He has his whole life to learn that people suck, I don’t want to teach him that at 6 months old.
6. He gets more worked up. If I let him cry for a few minutes and then go to him, he’s fine and falls back asleep in a few minutes. When he goes more than a few minutes he gets super pissed and it can take an hour or more to calm him back down.
7. It’s learned helplessness. I just don’t like that, plain and simple.
8. I hate the term “sleep training.” He is my child, not my golden retriever.
9. It gets him all hot and bothered. Literally. He gets really hot when he cries for too long. So now, I have a hot, vomit covered, angry, worked up baby on my hands.
10. It makes me leak. If he cries for more than a few minutes and it’s that really distressed cry I leak all over myself. My boobs just can’t handle it.
When I say “cry” I don’t mean just whimpering and settling down kind of cry, I’m talking about the full-fledged freak out kind of crying. If he’s just kind of whimpering, I have no problem leaving him there to settle himself down.. Hell, letting him whimper and fuss for a few minutes is the only way he will fall asleep on his own. It’s when it’s that major “I’m going to make your life a living hell if you don’t give me my damn pacifier” kind of crying kicks in that I can’t just leave him there. Maybe one day I’ll be able to cave and do it, but I doubt it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)