We finally did it! We are officially homeowners and living in our new home. We handed the keys over for our rental to the landlord earlier this week and we're just living the "white bread" lifestyle as my husband calls it.
In the midst of moving we lost some things that I wish we hadn't. I know they're SOMEWHERE in the new house, but where exactly is just beyond me. Some of them are a bit ridiculous, some of them would just be REALLY, really nice to find sooner rather than later, like yesterday would have been nice.
My Underwear - Yep, I can't find them. I have about five pairs that I can currently locate, including the one on my ass as I type this. Unfortunately I'm stubborn and cheap, so I refuse to go buy more because I KNOW they're somewhere in the house. On the plus side of this, I've just been forced into doing laundry on a more regular basis.
My Socks - Again, I know they're here. In the meantime I've just been wearing my husband's socks. Even when I do find mine, I still plan on wearing his because I've come to find that manly socks are just a lot more spacey and comfy for my feet. He doesn't know this and would probably object, but what doesn't know what hurt him.
Diapers - Somewhere in this house there are at least two boxes of unopened, unused diapers. I would LOVE to know where they ended up. For obvious reasons, I had to go out and buy another box. Now I'm sitting here biting my nails and hoping that we can find them before my son outgrows them and needs the next size up. If all else fails, I hope I can at least find them before baby number two is wearing that size.
Dog Treats - This has worked out to her benefit. My dog usually gets a treat after going outside and going potty. Since we can't find her treats and I refuse to buy more since we have a ton of them, I've been improvising. She's been getting random things like: carrots, cereal, cereal puffs from the baby, apple chunks, pretty much whatever is on hand at the moment. I think she'll be sad when we actually do find her treats.
Utensils - Thankfully we've found these since we moved in. It was pretty pathetic for a few days. At one point my husband wanted cereal, I was able to offer him a ladle or a plastic fork...he was none to pleased with those options.
Husband's Dress Shoes - He had taken a few days off of work anyways, so it wasn't a huge deal. Part of me would have loved to see him all dressed up with his hair done, a button down shirt, pressed pants, shiny belt...and a pair of sneakers. Maybe one day I'll hide his nice shoes just so I can see that visual.
Adult Soaps and Shampoos - For whatever reason, mine and my husband's soap and shampoos were misplaced when we first moved in, but our son's bath time supplies were easily found. So, I'm not ashamed to say that for a few showers we both used some baby bath soap and shampoo for ourselves. I honestly didn't mind smelling like a baby's butt for a few days there.
In addition to the things we can't find I've found a ton of crap that I didn't even know we had. That will make for whole other post though. Seriously, who knew how much crap you could hide in attic storage? I found out...I've been sorting through the "treasures" bit by bit each day and I keep asking myself, "Why do we have this? Why did this survive long enough to move with us?"
But, anyways, we've made it through the move. Hopefully all of our lost items will surface soon.
Monday, April 29, 2013
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
(Selfish) Reaons to Love Your New Mom Status
Being a new mom is hard. Let’s just put that out there. There’s nothing easy or pretty about it. It’s a huge life change that no one could ever have prepared you for. There’s so many changes going on and you are dead tired. However, looking back at those first few months, I can honestly say that there were some great built in excuses that came with having a new baby.
1. You’re tired, so you can’t go out. You know that annoying friend/relative that ALWAYS wants to go out somewhere? Now you have a great excuse: Baby didn’t sleep, I’m exhausted, maybe next week.
2. Babies have weak immune systems…and hasn’t your little one been a little “feverish” lately? Better not have any company over, you wouldn’t want to expose him to something and make things worse.
3. At a family function with people you hate? Someone wants to corner you and talk your ear off for two hours about the ramifications of global warming on the goats in Africa? Shucks! Can’t right now, baby needs to be changed/fed/put to sleep.
4. Next time your baby is crying at the grocery store and you only have three things in your cart and all the lanes are full of people checking out, just go stand really close next to someone. Let the baby cry for a moment or two. I’ve found that this gets me to the front of the line pretty quickly.
5. If your baby is being an ass all day long, you get out of cleaning and cooking. Simply call your husband while baby is having a meltdown. If he’s smart he’ll figure out that this is the clue for him to go pick up dinner.
6. When you’re tired, exhausted, cranky and just “done,” your baby will do something new and funny. Not to be mushy, but those are the moments that make it all worth it. He’s been screaming all day and then suddenly you see him roll over for the first time, all that frustration goes out the window as your heart just melts over this new milestone.
I love being a mom. There hasn’t been anything yet to make me feel differently. If it was up to me, we’d have twelve kids already because I feel like this is what I was meant to do. That being said, there are still days that I go without showering or lunch. It’s all part of the mom job.
1. You’re tired, so you can’t go out. You know that annoying friend/relative that ALWAYS wants to go out somewhere? Now you have a great excuse: Baby didn’t sleep, I’m exhausted, maybe next week.
2. Babies have weak immune systems…and hasn’t your little one been a little “feverish” lately? Better not have any company over, you wouldn’t want to expose him to something and make things worse.
3. At a family function with people you hate? Someone wants to corner you and talk your ear off for two hours about the ramifications of global warming on the goats in Africa? Shucks! Can’t right now, baby needs to be changed/fed/put to sleep.
4. Next time your baby is crying at the grocery store and you only have three things in your cart and all the lanes are full of people checking out, just go stand really close next to someone. Let the baby cry for a moment or two. I’ve found that this gets me to the front of the line pretty quickly.
5. If your baby is being an ass all day long, you get out of cleaning and cooking. Simply call your husband while baby is having a meltdown. If he’s smart he’ll figure out that this is the clue for him to go pick up dinner.
6. When you’re tired, exhausted, cranky and just “done,” your baby will do something new and funny. Not to be mushy, but those are the moments that make it all worth it. He’s been screaming all day and then suddenly you see him roll over for the first time, all that frustration goes out the window as your heart just melts over this new milestone.
I love being a mom. There hasn’t been anything yet to make me feel differently. If it was up to me, we’d have twelve kids already because I feel like this is what I was meant to do. That being said, there are still days that I go without showering or lunch. It’s all part of the mom job.
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Moving
As I’ve mentioned before, moving is awful as it is, throw an infant into the mix and things get even more complicated. Here’s just a quick list of a few ways my son has decided to do to make things more interesting for us during our moving process.
- Teething. This makes him crabby, but thankfully there’s actually teeth showing through so I know I’m not lying this time.
- Crawling attempts. He gets up, he rocks back and forth and then face plants into the ground. Thus, we end up with a super pissy baby because he a.) can’t crawl and b.) quite possibly injured himself.
- Changing his food habits. This may be related to the teeth. Before he was eating either solids or breastmilk every 2-3 hours. Now we’ve decided that he wants to eat every hour to two hours.
- Pooping more. That says it all. Thanks buddy!
- Changing nap habits. Before he would only sleep in his crib. Now the crib is a 50/50 shot. Always making mommy guess! That’s my boy!
- Loving the loudest and most obnoxious toys. Before he wasn’t too interested in the Busy Ball Popper. Now it’s the best, best thing in the world. For those of you that have not experienced this toy; it’s LOUD. And it has NO volume control. Thanks Fisher Price!
I’m sure more changes are in the future. These are just a few things that have been keeping me on my toes lately.
- Teething. This makes him crabby, but thankfully there’s actually teeth showing through so I know I’m not lying this time.
- Crawling attempts. He gets up, he rocks back and forth and then face plants into the ground. Thus, we end up with a super pissy baby because he a.) can’t crawl and b.) quite possibly injured himself.
- Changing his food habits. This may be related to the teeth. Before he was eating either solids or breastmilk every 2-3 hours. Now we’ve decided that he wants to eat every hour to two hours.
- Pooping more. That says it all. Thanks buddy!
- Changing nap habits. Before he would only sleep in his crib. Now the crib is a 50/50 shot. Always making mommy guess! That’s my boy!
- Loving the loudest and most obnoxious toys. Before he wasn’t too interested in the Busy Ball Popper. Now it’s the best, best thing in the world. For those of you that have not experienced this toy; it’s LOUD. And it has NO volume control. Thanks Fisher Price!
I’m sure more changes are in the future. These are just a few things that have been keeping me on my toes lately.
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
New Friends of a New Mom
I have a ton of great people in my life. I have my amazing husband, who has the patience of a saint. I have my grandmother, who even though she’s thousands of miles away, can always manage to say the right thing when I need it. I have my wonderful mother in law, who is always there for our little family. I have a wonderful aunt-in-law that offers me a great help and used baby things. I have a sister-in-law that is nothing but thrilled to send me her used baby items that are in great shape. I can’t say thank you enough to these people who have had such a huge impact on my mine and my son’s life.
This post is not about them. This post is about the people that are anything but helpful. The ones who think they’re helping but instead they’re just causing more and more stress that I don’t want or need. These are some of the people you’ll meet as a new mom. You might have known these people all along, but you’ll see them in a different light as they now fit into one or all of these categories.
The Empty Offer-er: These people are the ones who offer to help you out when you need it and then are nowhere to be found when you actually need them. I’ve had a lot of those since my son was born. If you don’t want to help, don’t even offer. I don’t see what anyone gains from making these offers and then when we take you up on it you’re too busy or it’s just too hard for you to do.
The Snobby Mom: These are the moms that will forever be looking down their nose at you. No matter how proud you are of something you’ve done, they will either one up you or tell you why what you did was stupid and pointless. Please pull the stick from your ass before we talk next time, thanks.
The Inexperienced Helper: These are the ones that have never watched a baby for more than 2 hours but are somehow self proclaimed experts. They will be over the top with offering you advice and helpful suggestions. Little do they know that baby sitting a baby and actually raising one are two very different things.
The Competitor: These are the ones that will forever be trying to make you look bad by doing something even better than you did. They’re often grouped in with the snobby moms. Nothing you do will ever been as good what they did. Their kids are perfect, you couldn’t possibly relate to them.
The Show Off: They will make everything look so fucking easy that it hurts your heart. They make it sound like motherhood is just a walk in the park on a spring day. They act like they’ve never spent a night up with a screaming baby or cleaned puke out of their bras. Don’t let them fool you, they’ll break one day.
The Bitch: The title says it all. Some people just become bitches to you when you have a baby.
The Over-Gifter: This person will buy you and your kid all sorts of crap you don't need, but they see as vital. They won't buy you just one pair of snow boots (in August) for your child, they'll get you three pairs in case one gets dirty.
My best advice is just to simply weed out the people you don't need. I've had a hard time lately because my actual family has become so small. Then I stop and look around at the people that I do have and realize that quality is more important than quantity. Thankfully these people listed above are ones that I mainly only have to see for holidays or birthdays. Let's keep it that way.
This post is not about them. This post is about the people that are anything but helpful. The ones who think they’re helping but instead they’re just causing more and more stress that I don’t want or need. These are some of the people you’ll meet as a new mom. You might have known these people all along, but you’ll see them in a different light as they now fit into one or all of these categories.
The Empty Offer-er: These people are the ones who offer to help you out when you need it and then are nowhere to be found when you actually need them. I’ve had a lot of those since my son was born. If you don’t want to help, don’t even offer. I don’t see what anyone gains from making these offers and then when we take you up on it you’re too busy or it’s just too hard for you to do.
The Snobby Mom: These are the moms that will forever be looking down their nose at you. No matter how proud you are of something you’ve done, they will either one up you or tell you why what you did was stupid and pointless. Please pull the stick from your ass before we talk next time, thanks.
The Inexperienced Helper: These are the ones that have never watched a baby for more than 2 hours but are somehow self proclaimed experts. They will be over the top with offering you advice and helpful suggestions. Little do they know that baby sitting a baby and actually raising one are two very different things.
The Competitor: These are the ones that will forever be trying to make you look bad by doing something even better than you did. They’re often grouped in with the snobby moms. Nothing you do will ever been as good what they did. Their kids are perfect, you couldn’t possibly relate to them.
The Show Off: They will make everything look so fucking easy that it hurts your heart. They make it sound like motherhood is just a walk in the park on a spring day. They act like they’ve never spent a night up with a screaming baby or cleaned puke out of their bras. Don’t let them fool you, they’ll break one day.
The Bitch: The title says it all. Some people just become bitches to you when you have a baby.
The Over-Gifter: This person will buy you and your kid all sorts of crap you don't need, but they see as vital. They won't buy you just one pair of snow boots (in August) for your child, they'll get you three pairs in case one gets dirty.
My best advice is just to simply weed out the people you don't need. I've had a hard time lately because my actual family has become so small. Then I stop and look around at the people that I do have and realize that quality is more important than quantity. Thankfully these people listed above are ones that I mainly only have to see for holidays or birthdays. Let's keep it that way.
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Helpful Friends At The Grocery Store
Every time I take my son to the grocery store I expect random people to come up to me and give me helpful and unwanted advice. This only seems to happen when I’m alone with him. Very rarely does anyone approach me and my husband when we’re together with the baby. So part of me feels like my husband must think I’m making this shit up because he’s never gotten the joy of random advice from a stranger.
As if I don’t have enough reasons to hate going to the grocery store, these random women who want to “help” just make it that much less enjoyable.
These are a few of the lovely tidbits I’ve gotten from random middle aged women in the past few months:
*He’s too old for that pacifier.
And you look a little too old to be wearing Victoria’s Secret “Pink” pants, but no one has pointed that to you obviously. Leave my 7-month-old and his pacifier alone.
*He’s too big for that car seat!
Actually, he’s not. He’s not even 25 pounds, and our car seat has a 30-pound limit. As much as I appreciate the concern, I don’t get where people think it’s okay to tell me that shit. Do you really think I don't know the limits of his car seat??
*You really should have a hat on that baby.
Thanks! I’ll let you know when we’re leaving the house next time and you can pick out an appropriate outfit my baby!
*He’s going to fall out of that carrier. (Wearing an Ergo Baby carrier)
I know he's advanced for his age in some areas but unless he suddenly gains some awesome fine motor skills and learns how to unhook buckles, he’s fine.
*Isn’t he a little young to be having a sippy cup?
Go talk to the lady that thinks he’s too big for his car seat. When you two come to a decision on what’s appropriate for my kid, please get back to me.
*You’re going to need help getting out to the car.
No, really, I’m not. I’m not injured in some way that prevents me from putting the car seat into the car and putting the bags in. Would help be nice sometimes? Sure, but I’m not in NEED of help. If you'd like to help me with something, come to my house and help me put the groceries away before my milk spoils...that's an area I actually need help with.
*You really shouldn’t let him sleep in the car seat.
Okay! I’ll just keep poking him and waking him up so he can scream really loud. That way we can all enjoy our shopping experience a little more.
I hate that shit so much. I get that people just want to help but really, we’re in a grocery store. I’m not standing outside of Babies R Us begging people to please explain to me how his car seat works. I'd like to think I don't look THAT clueless when I'm out with my son. Surely I look a little worn out but I don't think I' give off a "stupid and confused" vibe just yet. I’ve never once offered advice to another mom in a random public place. I only wish people would exchange the favor. Maybe I need to start offering fashion/make-up advice to random people in exchange for their child care advice.
As if I don’t have enough reasons to hate going to the grocery store, these random women who want to “help” just make it that much less enjoyable.
These are a few of the lovely tidbits I’ve gotten from random middle aged women in the past few months:
*He’s too old for that pacifier.
And you look a little too old to be wearing Victoria’s Secret “Pink” pants, but no one has pointed that to you obviously. Leave my 7-month-old and his pacifier alone.
*He’s too big for that car seat!
Actually, he’s not. He’s not even 25 pounds, and our car seat has a 30-pound limit. As much as I appreciate the concern, I don’t get where people think it’s okay to tell me that shit. Do you really think I don't know the limits of his car seat??
*You really should have a hat on that baby.
Thanks! I’ll let you know when we’re leaving the house next time and you can pick out an appropriate outfit my baby!
*He’s going to fall out of that carrier. (Wearing an Ergo Baby carrier)
I know he's advanced for his age in some areas but unless he suddenly gains some awesome fine motor skills and learns how to unhook buckles, he’s fine.
*Isn’t he a little young to be having a sippy cup?
Go talk to the lady that thinks he’s too big for his car seat. When you two come to a decision on what’s appropriate for my kid, please get back to me.
*You’re going to need help getting out to the car.
No, really, I’m not. I’m not injured in some way that prevents me from putting the car seat into the car and putting the bags in. Would help be nice sometimes? Sure, but I’m not in NEED of help. If you'd like to help me with something, come to my house and help me put the groceries away before my milk spoils...that's an area I actually need help with.
*You really shouldn’t let him sleep in the car seat.
Okay! I’ll just keep poking him and waking him up so he can scream really loud. That way we can all enjoy our shopping experience a little more.
I hate that shit so much. I get that people just want to help but really, we’re in a grocery store. I’m not standing outside of Babies R Us begging people to please explain to me how his car seat works. I'd like to think I don't look THAT clueless when I'm out with my son. Surely I look a little worn out but I don't think I' give off a "stupid and confused" vibe just yet. I’ve never once offered advice to another mom in a random public place. I only wish people would exchange the favor. Maybe I need to start offering fashion/make-up advice to random people in exchange for their child care advice.
Monday, April 1, 2013
(Not So) Subtle Ways You Can Tell We Have A Baby
When looking around my house today it became very clear to me, that even if you didn’t know us, you've never seen us, you've never spoken with us...you would know we have a baby. I’m not talking about all of the baby crap laying around here, god knows our house looks like Babies R Us threw up all over the place. Obviously, the high chair is a dead give away as soon as you walk in our kitchen, but that’s not quite what I’m talking about. I’m talking about the more subtle things that are just a constant reminder that life with an infant has changed many things for all of us in the house.
1. There’s milk in our beer glasses. Prior to baby we used to use the beer glass for beer, now I can’t remember the last time we had a beer from our fancy beer glasses. Last night we did enjoy some nice cold milk though!
2. The half empty cups of coffee. I never get to finish a whole cup of coffee, so by mid-morning, there’s usually at least one half drunk cup of coffee sitting on the counter.
3. The untouched magazines. My husband and myself both used to read magazines, now we’re lucky if they even get glanced at before being recycled in six months.
4. The piles upon piles of laundry. How the hell is it possible that one little person has the capability to create such massive amounts of laundry? I'll tell you how: spit up, vomit and blowing raspberries while eating purees.
5. The unused condoms. Let’s face it, no one’s getting any lately. We’re both too damn tired.
6. The calendar that’s still on October when it’s clearly February. Who the hell gives a shit what day it is anymore? When you’re a stay at home mom all the days and weeks just melt together. Is it Monday? I don’t know. Does it matter? Nope.
7. The disgruntled dog. She used to be a happy go lucky dog, but now like the rest of us, the lack of sleep has gotten to her.
All in all, having a baby is the best damn thing ever. But anyone who tells you bull shit like, “Having a baby only changes your life as much as you let it,” is a liar. Things change, even things you wouldn’t think about change on a monumental level. So, even if you took all the baby crap out of my house you would be able to tell that we either have a baby, I’m a really crappy housewife, or a combination of the two is going on here.
1. There’s milk in our beer glasses. Prior to baby we used to use the beer glass for beer, now I can’t remember the last time we had a beer from our fancy beer glasses. Last night we did enjoy some nice cold milk though!
2. The half empty cups of coffee. I never get to finish a whole cup of coffee, so by mid-morning, there’s usually at least one half drunk cup of coffee sitting on the counter.
3. The untouched magazines. My husband and myself both used to read magazines, now we’re lucky if they even get glanced at before being recycled in six months.
4. The piles upon piles of laundry. How the hell is it possible that one little person has the capability to create such massive amounts of laundry? I'll tell you how: spit up, vomit and blowing raspberries while eating purees.
5. The unused condoms. Let’s face it, no one’s getting any lately. We’re both too damn tired.
6. The calendar that’s still on October when it’s clearly February. Who the hell gives a shit what day it is anymore? When you’re a stay at home mom all the days and weeks just melt together. Is it Monday? I don’t know. Does it matter? Nope.
7. The disgruntled dog. She used to be a happy go lucky dog, but now like the rest of us, the lack of sleep has gotten to her.
All in all, having a baby is the best damn thing ever. But anyone who tells you bull shit like, “Having a baby only changes your life as much as you let it,” is a liar. Things change, even things you wouldn’t think about change on a monumental level. So, even if you took all the baby crap out of my house you would be able to tell that we either have a baby, I’m a really crappy housewife, or a combination of the two is going on here.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)