The Crappy Advice People Give You

I get so sick and tired of people offering me advice when I don't ask for it.
If I come to you broken down and crying then by all means, offer me advice. Otherwise, I really don’t give a crap what your aunt’s friend’s daughter’s sister-in-law did about her baby’s diaper rash.
And contrary to popular belief…all babies are different! This concept is totally mind blowing to some people. They automatically assume that because this worked for their friend’s aunt’s baby then it just HAS to work for yours. When you tell them you’ve already tried that and it didn’t work, that assume you’re lying. And don't even get me started on the people that tell you must have done something wrong if their technique didn't work.

So here’s some of the gems I’ve heard lately…
1. “Just let him cry, he’ll learn to self soothe!” Except he doesn’t self soothe, instead vomits and then continues crying more. And we share a room, so that one is off the table. This one is my BIGGEST pet peeve because people act like gods when it comes to this method. It annoys me so much, I actually wrote a whole entry dedicated to it. That's how often I hear this one.

2. “If you put a hat on him at night he’ll sleep better.” Or he’ll just over heat and cry. My kid is always hot, the last thing he needs an extra layer on his head.

3. “Take him for a ride around the block when he’s giving you a hard time.” I’ve done this and yes, it works. However, gas is currently right around 3.50 a gallon. I can’t afford to make that a habit for him. So, unless we invest in a Hybrid, my kid will not be soothed by long car rides.

4. “You should really start weaning him from breastfeeding.” Bite me, he’s 7 months old.

5. “Give him juice to help keep him regular.” This DOES work, but unfortunately the people who suggest it to me are not there when the diaper from hell erupts from this method.

6. “Don’t hold him too much, you’ll spoil him.” He’s my first born, he’s going to be spoiled for now. Once baby two comes along I can equally ignore both of them as needed to focus on the other.

7. “Put him to sleep on his stomach.” Are you still in 1980? Things have changed, have you heard of SIDS?

8. "He needs to be eating finger foods by now." Thanks, so when my child chokes on a green bean will you be there to help dislodge it? No? Then, go away and leave me to my purees.

Granted, I know each and every one of these pieces of advice was given with the best intentions but it’s just incredibly frustrating. There have been times I’ll go crying to someone looking for advice, and then I welcome their advice with open arms. It’s the people who just feel the need to constantly give me “new” ideas that just get under my skin. This is the exact reason why I seldom offer advice to anyone about anything. Ever.